Everything about me is changing lately. In one of my latest blog posts, I shared that this past week was a hard week for me. I think alot of it is because I am changing, due to weightloss and lack there of.
I am wanting to expand who I am, and what I do in my normal everyday life. I can feel me, growing in many ways, and yet afraid to let the "wings" expand and fly. I am finally at a point in my weightloss journey where it is either do or die. (not really die) Simply put I either need to poop, or get off the pot. I need to begin losing or just be happy where I am.
To be honest, I can't be happy where I am. If this is where my body is the "happiest" it is about to get unhappy. I figure it was just "taking vacation" or something, but guess what. Vacation's over. I need to finish what I started, because I am not done.
I feel myself wanting to withdrawl from many things that are "normal" for me. Blogging isn't one of them, but reading alot of blogs I used to is. I don't care about the latest cookie recipe anymore, and well.. my focus is just not where it was a year ago. It isn't where it was six months ago either. It is hard to explain this "season" I am going through. I don't know if it even has anything to do with my weightloss or not. But something is most definately going on with me. I find myself wanting to "hide", or just not talk to anyone. And other times I can talk one's ear off. It feels like a very vicious cycle to be on, and I can't explain it any other way.
This whole post is just a jumbled mess. Not it's usually neat and orderly manner, in which I like to write. Sorry bout that. It is what it is today.