Friday, June 5, 2009

Longing for more

I am in a different season, one I havent' been near in a while. I get this way about this time every year, when I get the opportunity to spend more time at home. I have a longing for something more, somthing deep, something worth the time and effort. For so long it has been all about losing pounds, losing inches, and all that is happening pretty much on it's own now. It is like I am just an observer, and I want MORE! Not more loss ~ as I have lost it at a pretty good pace, and would not have rushed it one moment from what it already was. I am longing for more in my home ~ as a wife, mother, homemaker. I am wanting more in my own life ~ from myself ( not the ones I love, but from ME!). My soul is longing to be in the throne room, at the feet of the Lord. For so long, I have lived a superficial life, doing things that would please others. Doing things in my life, that wasnt' really "me" just to gain friendships (saying things that I might not would have under 'normal' circumstances), and I am so worn out from that! That is one reason no one has been able to send me an instant message, or really have recieved any emails ( or blog comments) from me. I have just completely withdrawn from my "normal". I need to. I am learning alot, and expect that learning to continue. Part of that is probably where this longing feeling is coming from, because in a way it feels like there is a void in my life. I guess taking out some negative influences is a good thing ~ but in the same since I had to lose some good support too by withdrawing. =) I guess I will take things as they come.

3 comments:

  1. Awww, we're still supporting you, at least I am. Taking time, and energy and love, for yourself can be a big adjustment - you probably know best as summer break comes around every year. For me, after two years of adjusting to stay at home mummy life, finding my balance can all hang on one little thing: spending time each day(whether it be 5 min or 60 min) with my little ones doing silly things - tickling, itsy bitsy spider, singing and dancing, things like that - it's those little things, those little moments that brings me the most joy out of life. It's also that time, when it is missing in a day, can make my whole day be rotten. Find out what your buttons are and make the most of it :)

    Oh, hey - I'm working on a post reply to your "s-word" post - that positive/negative self-talk video you posted has changed me, and potentially changed my whole approach to life. Even though I'm a super self encourager and a pro at positive self-talk, there were certain areas that I didn't realize I HAVE been talking myself down... I didn't even know it, but I always asked myself "why can't I be better at this?" and I had no idea it was all due to negative self talk - ME! Who is always so positive! I couldn't beleive it, but THANK YOU SHEILA!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm here for you honey, it's always good to take a step back and dedicate your time to the Lord. We need to thirst and desire for more of Him, He will complete us!! :) I'm here for you, take as long as you want ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. We are still here for you Sheila. You are such an inspiration in so many ways. I think it's important to remember the 'basics' and remember that we are Children of God and that he loves us, and is there for us. I find it highly motivating that you dedicate your life to him, and to 'bettering' yourself in more than one aspect. I need to get back on the path to my Savior. Thanks again for the inspiration. I find a lot of times when I feel a 'void' in my life it is because I have let my relationship with my Savior slack, and have not been attending church, reading his word as diligently as I should be, and spreading his word with others. Just my experience :)

    ReplyDelete

Your feedback is welcomed! Spam comments will be deleted.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...