Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Use me

Have you ever been placed in your "calling" and yet begin to wonder why and what if? Yep. We all have. Why is it so easy to ask God to show us his purpose for us, but so quick to say "wait, that's not what I meant!".



For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. Jeremiah 29:11~14

I have learned a lot in the last five years, and intend to learn a lot this year as well in my classroom. Sure, I am the "teacher" but let me tell you something you might not have known. I learn much more from these children then I could possibly ever teach them.
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Coming next week is a preschool teacher's conference that I look forward to every year. Today I just feel compelled to scream from the roof top "Use Me Lord!". There is a situation that every new year brings, and I just decided while fixing the kids lunch that I am going to STOP worrying about the little things, stop wondering if things are going to change, and instead give it to the Lord, for this is His calling for my life, not my own. Sure, I love working with preschool kids ~ they are the greatest! I adore every moment with them, no matter how difficult it may feel, but let me say sometimes working with other women is difficult. Each of the wonderful women I work with, brings me a smile each and every day. But there are times I just have to shake my head and thank God that I have a different kind of "faith", a different perspective on things. I am sure they do the same with me. As much as I love the women I work with, I often think that high school just never ends. Ya know ~ the drama!! I have realized that I am not on my knees enough, and at times I want to control too much. I thank you Lord for showing me and I pray RIGHT NOW that you have your way!

I am known as the hyper "just wanna be a kid" kind of teacher, and that will never change! THAT is who I am. I remember praying for the "childlike faith" and even the playfulness from the time my babies were.. well babies. Yes ,I can be the responsible adult I need to be, and I know that without a shadow of a doubt this is going to be one of my greatest years to teach. This work that God has done in me this summer has changed my life. I am loving who I am becoming and NO ONE could have ever given me that. God has shown me that he created me in a way that he couldn't' create anyone else. I have traits that are my own, and I need to stop hiding those! This is a whole new world for me, and I am excited to be able to that fresh outlook into my classroom, and even share with my co workers and friends at school. I am much bolder, then I have ever been, and what a GREAT thing to be, especially when 18 three year olds are looking at you for direction. ( Not sure on the number this year, that has been a good average the past 5 years.)
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So this year, I am praying that God can use me, and use me fully, as I am ready! I am FINALLY ready to stop fighting the system, finally ready to move forward without the garbage from my past holding me back, finally ready to take flight! I am ready to move forward with each of the lovely ladies I work with, knowing that they too are just human.

3 comments:

  1. How beautiful!!!!!

    That is one of my favourite verses of all time :)

    God is already using you in your blog because you inspire me!

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  2. I agree with Martha - you inspire me completely. We're all thankful for your strength, preserverance, and your loveliness. But isn't it so much better to hear all those good things from the Creator Himself? Isn't it the most exciting feeling in the world when you let go of plans to make room for the unknown wonders He has in store for us? God is so Great!!! :D Bless you Sheila!!!

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  3. @ Martha ~ Thank you so much for your kind words. That verse has been one of my favorites for a while, and just resting in the simplicity of "Just trust Him", is a nice place to be.

    @ Annalisa ~ You are always my cheerleader, and I so appreciate that. Too many times others have seen the good in me, where I couldn't even fathom them. It is a fantastic place to be to see those things now, and understand that He can move in me, if I just let him!

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