Monday, July 27, 2009

Work Hard/ Play Hard

Work Hard ~ Play Hard
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sheila C. King

I know. It's simple right? If you work hard, you should also be able to play just as hard! I am so on that! This summer has been all about finding that balance between working hard and playing hard. I love it! But I realize not everyone has this philosophy, and I think many times that is when things just don't work out as we plan.

Lately it seems I am watching marriages crumble all around me, and each one that I see fall, makes me want to cling to my husband just that much more. Not in a nagging clinging way, but a passionate and loving way. People are hurting, lives are changed forever, and unfortunately children are affected in ways that can never be "fixed". Not all the time, but I would say at least 70 percent of all broken marriages are a direct result of not having a balance in working and playing.

Do I have a perfect marriage? NO. There is no such thing. But, my husband and I both have a strong desire to make the most of our marriage. There are times when we both feel like we are being taken for granted ~ which really is just an attitude that we have to work on. I mean he is the provider of our home, and I am the care taker. I believe in this solid ground roles in our lives, and believe that God put that desire in us for a reason. I will never doubt that. Yes, I work too, but mine isn't what his is. He supports our family, I am simply in the ministry, and we all know those in the ministry do it out of love, not a desire to get rich! My time in the classroom is something that I use to minister to the age group in which I have a calling for. Does it take me out of the home? Yes, but only when the children are out of the home. NEVER when they are. I still have plenty of time in my day to tend to our home, tend to my husbands needs, and what do you know, I even have time to take care of myself ~ spiritually, physically, mentally. I work hard. I will not lie. It takes a lot of discipline and self control but I do it. Why? Because I honestly believe if you don't work hard, you don't deserve to play hard. If your home is in disorder, you have NO RIGHT to out running the roads. If your health is not in order, you have NO RIGHT to be continually shoveling in the junk food and sitting on your bum in front of whatever time robber you choose whether it be the tv or the computer. If your home is unbalanced, and often times you have to walk around the mess just to get from room to room, you do have NO RIGHT to go and play all day, leaving the mess for someone else.

OH MY! I feel it! I know what your thinking! "what a critical and judgemental freak Mrs. Sheila must be". Ya know what? I am not trying to be. I am not saying you should never go out and enjoy yourself for the day if things aren't perfect at home. I am not talking about being perfect. Simply ~ putting priorities in order. I said I work hard and that is true, but to be honest, I work hard for nine months out of the year. When summer is here I slack up. Why? Because I need to! I spend those nine months running from home to school, to picking up kids, to helping with homework, laundry, house blessings, working out, balancing out healthy meals, not to mention the countless birthdays to plan for, holidays, family gatherings, etc. I stayed busy and yet my house, my marriage, our children stayed standing. Summer time is the time I can let go of some of those things, and embrace the fact that it is the time to play just as hard as I worked.

Do I feel guilty? Some days yes, but I still have the rule ~ if I am not done with what needs to be done, I can't play. So, I make it a point to keep things done ~ not counting BIG projects, but daily maintenance. I worked hard Saturday doing house blessings and then onto the yard work. At the end of the afternoon, I played in the pool with the kids. I was FREE! I knew that my home was "company ready" ~ not magazine ready ~ if need be, the laundry was done, the yard looked good, and dinner was planned and prepped. Having that freedom lets me play just as hard as my kids! Walking and working in that freedom, is such a homemakers dream! I am glad to have found the balance that works for me. I will also throw in there that last school year, probably because my children have grown some and don't need me every single moment of the day, I was able to find that work hard/play hard balance even during the school year.

It is getting closer and closer to the beginning of a new school year, and I realize that I am going to have to start to pull in the reigns some on my playing hard. And you know what? I am so okay with that! There are only 4 full weeks ( counting today) of Summer left. That's it. I am adding back in the gym to my daily routine starting tomorrow. Yes we will still swim some, but I need to get ready for the time when the pool comes down and that option is not there. My mind and body need to be trained again to ease up on the playing so hard, and working a bit harder. I am ready though. It is time!

Do you find that you have balance between working hard and playing hard? Do you tend to do more of one then the other?

This balance rings true in marriage too ~ if your wondering where that took place in all this. Sometimes marriage is a lot of work, a lot of daily things that tend to just flood your brain with "work". BUT... you gotta play too! Play in the sense that you must enjoy one another. Even that can be work, but really this is the part where I believe marriage is 50/50. Not in the home! LOL See the 50/50 in our home is my husband is the provider ( hey, he works outside in the hot /cold weather every single day for his family), and I am the caretaker (yes I work outside the home, but nothing LIKE him!). My husband knows in his heart and his mind that when he comes in the door, he is not going to be bombarded with a house that is in chaos and he doesn't need to worry about anything. Seeing how I am home more of the day, I take on the responsibility of cleaning our home, and cooking our meals. I couldn't in anyway in my conscious even think of asking him to do those things. Now if I worked odd hours, or I wasn't home as much as I am then yeah I would need his help, and he would be there. And in my defense where it seems like my job is not done even after 24 hours of working straight sometimes, I must say that I don't have the fear of not being provided for. Just as I have given my husband the faith in me to take care of our home and children, I have the faith in him to provide for our family's needs. Thinking back, things didn't go that smoothly until I began working on my part of the deal. Once I began doing "my share", he freely began doing his including working overtime when need be. I don't feel cheated because I know that things are okay, and the good thing is he doesn't feel cheated, because he knows that things are being taken care of here. Even on a play day!

In the last few years, I have to say my attitude toward this calling ( and it is that ladies!!), from God has improved. It is an honor for me now to do these things, and to do it with pride. Not an I am better then you pride, but a pride in which I can be proud of. I don't do it to be recognized by anyone but God. One day, I am going to face my Lord, and look him in the eyes. I want to hear the word "Well done thy good and faithful servant". I would not want to hear "How come you couldn't take care of the blessings in which I have given you?" When we step out of the natural earthly place which we can often find ourselves, and look at it with a different perspective perhaps God can then to move in our hearts and stir us in ways that we have never been able to imagine. See, I don't just do these things to say I do my share in my marriage, I do these things because I see my husband, our children, our home as a gift. A blessing! An honor! A privilege!!

Now, I am going to kindly step off of your toes, and end this on one note. I am learning more and more each day, by the grace of God, to speak blessings on those I love. Sometimes, the blessing comes in a way that is truth even if it hurts a bit. I never in my heart or mind would want to offend anyone reading this. Please know that I am just sharing what I feel God would want me to today. I have pondered this thought a lot in the last week or two. I often will call up a friend and say "Hey! Let's go do....." knowing that my "work" is done. But too many times, I realize, I enable them to maybe not get what they need to get done. Sure, I can't make that choice for anyone, or even possibly know what they may need to do, but I often feel guilty for days wondering if I am helping them or hindering them. As Christians we are to be living examples of Christ, and as Titus 2 Women, we should be encouraging those to live a more fruitful life ~ which sometimes means not being able to play for the day.

This summer has been a time of learning for me. I have begun the process of finding balance in every single part of my life, and really, I couldn't be happier! I am soon going to miss face book, and all of it's fun applications. I am soon going to honestly miss time on the computer, but I know that I must being work, and the play must be put to the side. :) Balance. Too much of one thing is never good. Too little of one thing is never good either! Now, lets go and find the motivation (Proper and Godly motivation) to balance things out a bit. You can do it! I can do it! We can do it together!

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful. I have to say I agree with everything you said, and yes, I read it ALL - it was exactly how I am feeling lately. Good to know we're not alone.

    I do, however, ask my DH to help with dishes maybe 1-2 times a week, because I feel sometimes, I get stuck doing kitchen work and nothing else gets done (burden of NOT having a stinkin dish washer *sigh*). But I am blessed with a wonderful husband that loves me anyway :)

    Have a good week Sheila!

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