Saturday, August 15, 2009

Taking the lead, and no longer hiding

Here lately, it seems everyone wants to hear my weightloss story. Everyone wants to know how I did it, and then when they find out I tell them "It's not really that hard". And it isn't. But why am I struggling to get back on track? I have been off (my rocker that is) for two weeks now, on a day off a day and I feel like such a goofball. I almost said failure but seeing how I have basically maintained during this process I am not a failure. BUT... it stops here RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.

How can I truly be an example shoveling birthday cake into my mouth, munchin on pringle sticks, and daydreaming of ice cream sandwhiches? Junk. None of it is good for me, nor my family. Here I sit and share how I stay away from all whites, yet I ate french fries the other day.

I am emotional eating I think. The upcoming stress of starting a new year and basically "waiting" before I can really do anything more towards school leaves my mind to wonder into places it doesn't belong. ~ Food~

So, I have come up with a plan. This upcoming week is the last week of summer, but I have to get my body in "Training' mode for the upcoming craziness. Summer for me is over after today. Tomorrow we of course, have church and then dh wants to take the kids to ride gocarts! How fun!! Tuesday evening I have CPR certification (hard to believe it has already been 2 years), Thursday afternoon I have a dr's appt (check up time), One of those days (Monday or Wednesday) I plan on going swimming with the kids and girlfriends one last time, as well as the other day heading up to the school to work a bit in my room. I also need to go to Lakeshore (my favorite teacher store in the whole world). All of that activity along with daily workots (yay!!) Is going to keep me busy busy busy! And I will again get my focus. Then I will not mind sharing my "success" story with others and be their cheerleader (how ever they decide to get on their journey). But today I feel like such a joke about it. I don't like that feeling. I don't like feeling like a hypocrite.
I am also going to begin writing. Having free "fridays' again, will help. I think my day will be devoted to getting errands taken care off, an early workout, a lunch out with the girls, and an afternoon of writing. I am determined to start on that part of my dreams. I long to become a published writer more then anything, and now it just comes to putting my hand to the paper and get to crackin! :)

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