Sunday, September 27, 2009

Emotions, Fun, and yep even Christmas

Sunday Planning

Yes it is that time of year, where many of us begin thinking about the busy season of Christmas. For most of us it means, familiy gatherings, special dinners, gift giving, and of course school parties! My Christmas list is ready, the card list is ready, and now I am about to sit and plan a get together with some friends. Our get together last year was on New Years Eve, which was alot of fun. This year, I would love to do something in December, towards the beginning before things get out of hand.  Those plans are in the works! I am seriously considering something for the first weekend in December. That first Friday is always our citywide Christmas parade, so it seems that the following day (Saturday) would be a great night for a friendly get togehter, maybe that Sunday afternoon. Not sure on the date, but I think we will make chili in the crockpot and serve all the yummy things to with that. A few healthy appetizers, and maybe some kind of sugar free cheesecake. Sounds yummy, fun, and inviting to those cold winds that come. I hate being so wishy washy on the date, but we love our football, and it would be fun to have a get together that involved that! (My date may change to sometime at the mid to end of October/ November ~ so stay tuned!)

*Speaking of Friends
We had a great time with friends last night. I got to meet one of Joel's buddies from his younger days, and spend some time with my bestie and her family. I hadn't seen alot of them in a while, and it was nice to "come out" in my size 4 jeans ( that my loving dh bought me), feeling so good and confident about myself and what I have accomplished. Only I crumbled when I ate dinner. I wasnt going to eat the fish, the chili conqueso but I did. THEN the overwhelming guilt took over. *sigh* The guilt didnt' come from what I ate, yet it did. I mean I made the choice, and I knew what I was doing. I wasn't held hostage, didn't have a gun to my head, I CHOSE what went in my mouth. But as I began eating, I just felt so guilty. I knew that I was going to feel like poo today, and I KNEW that I would have that regret hanging over my head. When I woke up this morning, however I had a migrain. And the guilt was there. BUT.. it was as overwhelming as it was last night. I mean come on. I had been doing so well lately, and yes I know I am not perfect, nor can I be, so this wasn't a "mistake". It was just a choice to enjoy good food with good friends. Not something that happens everyday, and surely not enough. (The food  ~ my food is always good, but I meant the friends.) All in all, it was a FANTASTIC time, and I wouldn't do anything different. It felt good to let loose a bit, and I think I may need to re evaluate my goals. I don't know if losing more would be a good thing, though I will always want to see if I can get to that 135. *sigh* Here is a pic of me and my hubby last night!

*Onward Forward
Another week, another chance to make a difference in the world. Last night I realized I need to continue moving forward to improve my self attitude. I am so kind to others, trying to lift others up, I need to focus a bit on doing that for myself. I need to be kind to me. Kind to my mind, my emotions, and honestly I really need to stop focusing on what others are thinking. Who freakin cares? I do. But that has GOT to stop! How do you make it stop? I have noticed that when I focus more on myself, and stop worrying about being the perfect wife, mother, person, I am happier, freeier, and I can bring much more joy to my home and to the ones I love. I need to ease up! I need to lose this "I have to be perfect" attitude, because in all honestly it is dragging me down. DOWN DOWN DOWN! Like a spiral, but not up. I need to say it is okay if I dont get everything on my mental to do list done, because I decided to sit and knit for an hour. I need to realize it is okay to have take out every now and then, and be okay with it.

*Shopping Fun
Friday, I ended up with a few new clothing items. This upcoming weekend, I am going to acquire a few more. I hate having a slim choice of what to wear on a daily basis, but it is fun starting fresh! I mean I can't say "Oh I shouldn't by that skirt, I have one similar, because I really don't!". It is so much fun playing and enjoying time in the dressing rooms and things fitting so well. I mean anything! It is strange to really have the whole store opened up to you ~ and know that you can FIT into whatever you want. Now, it's time to have some pizzaz! So what is your FALL must have this year?

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