Saturday, January 2, 2010

Change. It CAN be a good thing.

A new day! Yes!!

Today is about taking care of my own. My own home, my own family, my own goals. Not worrying about what someone else is doing with their life, and how it either aligns up with what I believe or not. But in "taking care of my own" I realize it is time to make some changes.

Yes the "c" word. Change. I have had a friendship with someone for the last 16 years of my life. I have come to love her as a sister. She has been there for my engagment, marriage, times of infertility, birth of my children, and through the little ups and downs of life. But. Even though she has been there, there has also been some ups and downs in our friendship. It's hard for me to walk away, but for a while at least, I am going to have to. It is what is best. My husband and I have grown up. We have matured. We are on the same track of life where we want what is best for our family. Unfortunately, the one person I thought was my soul sista has begun going down a completely different track. It isn't about what is best for her kids but what is best for her. Living a life of selfishness, and greed isn't what I want our children to experience. It is almost like a choice. Do we continue to socialize with these friends, and then point out their faults to our children as a "learning lesson", or do we just simply remove ourselves from the situation completely? I am not one to like to point out other's faults, neither do I believe we should be pointing out other's faults to our children. The world is enough of a negative place to be, without teaching our children to LOOK for those things. Could it be a learning experience? Absolutely. Do I want it to be? Not really. The next socialization will be on OUR turf, in OUR Terms. Where I can assure the safety of my children, and know that the needs are being met of hers as well. I can only live by example. I know that. I won't be rude. That wouldn't show the love of Christ. But I NO LONGER will go out of my way to speak to nor make contact with these friends. I wish I could go into more detail,but that isn't necessary. That would be gossiping and slander, and I am not about to dot that. I shared what I shared, out of a lesson to inspire others to look to the company that you keep.

I have realized some of my issues are the company that I have chosen to keep over the years. Just because we are called to be Christ like, doesn't mean we need to expose our selves to the ones who do not bring us up. There was not much lifting up of one antoher on New years eve, and lots of tearing down. That makes me sad, because I saw a side of someone I didnt' want to see. I didn't NEED to see. But it happened, and I truly believe that it was God's way of opening my eyes. Opening my eyes to my own self, to why I do what I do. I have changed in the last 16 years, by leaps and bounds. Haven't we all? Our needs change. Our relationships change. And tha tis okay. MY prayer is that God will replace this friendship with another that will not only be uplifting and encouraging, but lifelong as well.

Change isn't so bad. Yes it hurts. Yes it's hard. But you know, when you come through it, on the otherside life always seems so much better and you wonder why you faught the change. This time change is welcome, so it isnt' seeming so difficult. My husband, my family was disrespected, and I wont stand for that.

I am blesed to know that my husband is my best friend. He always will be. NO ONE will come between us. The Lord has bound us together, and that is such an amazing feeling.


  1. Love the post! And love your new goals especially running. I don't like running but would love to like it! I should throw that one on my list too. :)

  2. I know exactly how you feel, I'm going through this same thing myself, hugs

  3. LOL, I AM SO GLAD someone else understands how crappy it feels to step on the scale and find you've gone back into the 150's again - a place we thought we left forever. Darn it!

    So Annie, who is obviously a strong friend and a great support, is doing 60 min a day exercise. I have made that a goal of mine now too - 6/7 days a week. Because it's been a crappy couple months that will be a challenge. I don't have time for blogging like I used to (when did you make those other blogs? Yeah, that's how bad I've been at blogging) but I, as always, will be there to check in on(and hassle you about) whatever goal you chose. Should I do that on your skinny mini blog?

    I love you Sheila. Hope things are going well. It looks great! Your goals for the year are amazing, and looks like you've gotten a good start being on plan! Great job Sheila. Cheers to a 8 lbs in January!


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