Love hurts! There are plenty of love songs out there to prove that true love really does hurt sometimes. I am experiencing that this weekend. Sounds like it would make for a horrible weekend doesn't it? No way my friends! I am beyond blessed by this painful relationship! Sounds coo key you say? Let me explain!
There is someone who loves me unconditionally, and there are more times then I care to admit of times I have broken their heart. Literally grabbed it with my own two hands, and ripped it out. Often with a smirk on my face. Love hurts. I realize how many times I have poured ice cold water on this relationship, rather then allowing air to vent the flames of passion. I personally, with my own ignorance, have turned my back in this relationship. If it were me, I would have left me a long time ago. I have cheated, stolen, lied, back talked, gossiped about, disrespected, dishonored and more.
See, it began last night. When I began seeking out my lover, because I was simply at the bottom of my pit.A pit that I dug for myself, and voluntarily jumped in. But there he was. Looking down at me. Eye to eye. But instead of shame for me on his face, was nothing but a smile with his hand held out to help me up out of this pit. I realize it is time to stop playing games. It is time to stop trying to push Him away because I felt like I wasn't worthy. All that truly did was slap him in the face, and tell him that his death did nothing for me ~ and was not needed. See, I can't save myself. Neither can you. No one can.
I have turned away from my Lord out of pride and selfishness. But he is there. Waiting. Patiently. Like no love I have ever endured.
Today my kids learned a lesson about how much love hurts. We are learning that we need to make sure the things we see and listen to are pleasing to God. Yes, this means mom and dad too. It means that even though we loved a song for the background beat of it more then the words, if it is NOT pleasing to God and goes against His word, we do not need to waste time listening/watching it. They sat down with their MP3 players and took out music that I allowed them to have. I am thankful that God gave me the desire to take this step in our lives. It is NOT okay to allow my children to listen to anything that goes against what God's Word says. They don't know how to say no, unless we teach them. The world surely isn't going to teach that, and I can't expect it to fall on the shoulders of my church.
I was touched. Two of the three accepted it, with very little groans. There was some, but it was a time when we talked about how if it doesn't align with God's word, we don't need to be a part of it. Am I saying all music is bad? NOT at all. But I do believe it is our responsibilities as parents to guard our children's minds, hearts, and spirits, and if you allow your child to listen to things about how billy bob goes out partying, sleeping with so and so, or pushing drugs on the street ~ NONE of that aligns with what God has called us to be as people.One of the three children had more of a problem, but he was over it very fast. I often heard "But I LOVE that song!". When you simply ask "would God love it?" and the answer was NO, then he understood the point. Groaning stopped. The whole concept was accepted. I feel FREE!
I am thankful that God doesn't call us to compare ourselves with one another. There is NOT ONE scripture that says we have to keep up with the Joneses or do what so and so is doing! I LOVE that! I realize that I no longer "need someones permission" to live a certain way, because really it doesn't matter! God's opinion matters! It's a relief in my spirit! And I have NO DESIRE to be in any one's business on how to raise their kids, clean their house, pay their bills, etc. I just don't have the fight anymore. And why should I? What energy I wasted over the last few years.
That pit I was in, was deeper then I realized yesterday. Yes it was. This afternoon I feel exhausted in my spirit, body, and emotions. Why? Because, when you experience God, and truly allow him to move in you ~ it is alot of work. It is like I all of a sudden realized how much nonsense I have been carrying around, and when I put it down for the first time, I now see how tired it all made me. Praise the Lord! My plan for the rest of the day is to just rest in Him, finish preparing these football foods, and relax!
May you and yours have a blessed Sunday!
P.s: GO SAINTS!