Realized when I stop comparing my life with others, and what I do vs what others do, I realized I LOVE MY LIFE! I am so in a place of contentment right now, and I am enjoying it!Wow. In so many ways that is pretty powerful! It reminds me of a scripture that Mrs. Cheryl uses frequently, and has been in my the front of my thoughts lately.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27See, many have talked about their issues with gluttony lately, and while I tend to be a glutton after self deprivation, on a regular basis food has nothing on my idleness. NOTHING. I will admit I am all into trying to figure out how to help other people live their lives better, to be able to experience more then they could ever imagine. BUT.... not always in a good way. I tend to push people away because of all my "suggestions", when really I wasn't trying to be pushy or make them feel bad about their living situations.
God brought the experience of when the twins were born, to the forefront of my mind early this morning, while I was showering. That tends to be our meeting place after I pray. LOL It was through the trial of having one twin home, the other one still hooked up to all kinds of machines taking one step forward followed by two steps back that I began to truly trust and lean on Him. THAT is where my relationship bloomed with him. It wasn't before then that I was ever in a situation that I couldn't control. I am controling. I like to know that things are running smoothly, and when they don't, I fix it.
The perfect example to this if you are a fly on the wall you would see that everyday at around 4:30 we do a quick clean sweep in the livingroom and dining room, spray down the furniture with Fabreeze, and light a few scented candles. See my husband gets off work at 5 and is soon home afterwards. I LIKE for my home to be presentable for my husband. I figure he is out there working hard everyday for us. God has appointed my husband to be our financial provider. Since he works so hard, I like things in the afternoon/evenings to run as smoothly as possible. I want that for many people. It works for me, and I don't undestand why if someone is home all day, they can't do these things for their husband. Not really even just for their husband, but their home! It sets such a warm atmosphere, and shows those around us that they matter!But I have to let go and stop trying to convince those friends I love how important this is. It may not be important for them.
Yes, I work outside of the home, but please by no means consider that a break in my day. Remember, I teach preschool, and am responsible for 16 3 (well, now 4) year olds. I have about 30 minutes between the time I am done at the preschool until I pick up my own children from school. In that 30 minutes I might run to the store for milk, come home and put a load of laundry on to wash, or change bedding. Before I began teaching six years ago, I was a stay at home mom for a couple of years with young kids. I mean two babies and a preschooler. Somehow, I still made making my home a haven important. I know people get busy in their day, but it hurts when I see them suffering and not stepping up to the plate they should be.
SEE! I told you. I shared that with you because it is something I am struggling with very badly. Then I get alot of questions as to why I am "wasting my talent" in preschool. The mama bear rolls up and I have to get a bit testy! I am where God planted me! I am where God has put me for the time being. I love teaching, and yes I would LOVE to make more money at it, BUT...... I am not in it for the money. I am in it to serve my Lord. And while I get a paycheck now, my real paycheck will come in eternity. And I know that my rewards for being a good wife, and a good mommy will come later as well. Things that really matter, that really take alot of heart and patience, kindness, goodness, faithfullness, self control, joy, and love (think the fruits of the Spirit) are rewarded, but most likely NOT immediately. It's something we have to work for. And I am excited about doing just that.
Now, if I give it my all, I don't have time to see if someone else is functioning better, as well as, or worse then I. Honestly, I have had NO desire to do that this week. And, I am working hard when those situations arise that I think could be "done better" to lift that up to the Lord, and not try to control it myself. This is new to me, but I am loving the freedom of only worrying about MY home, and what the Lord has called ME to do. And I am so thankful that He has given me the desire of making my home a HAVEN yet again! He has rekindled that desire, and I am so pleased. Yes, it's work, but I LOVE IT!