Have you ever been in agony over something that you have been praying about and you knew God's answer would come yet it felt like forever?
That has been me for the last month or so, maybe a tad longer. And the sad thing, it was NOTHING I could control! LOL I like knowing what is going to happen, and if i can make it happen I will. Yeah, I know. God is in control ~ and it is hard to let go. I truly believe that is why I find myself in situations that there is NOTHING I can do about it.
There are some possible BIG changes that I am facing in my career. I really don't want to go into details because nothing is completely finalized yet, but it was enough to make me ponder, fall into prayer, and simply just wait for God's clairty and wisdom. I am happy to say that I will continue teaching in the upcoming school year, even if the changes occur.
God has stretched me this semester, in the fact that I am balancing more at work, but have learned a greater appreciation for my time in the classroom. I know without a shadow of a doubt that teaching is definately a GIFT from God, and it is something that He himself has called me to use. I have dreams to do other things, but until those dreams align with His calling, I shall remain steadfast where I am. Many people have made me feel guilty for working out of the home, as women should be the heart of the home and hard at work at that. For me, I do those things too. My home doesn't suffer because I work out of the home (currently only 28 hours a week), yet sometimes there are a few things sacraficed. But those things, are hobbies of mine, nothing to do with the way our home functions, the way we raise our children, or even the way we handle family time. I teach in a preschool that is tucked away in a local church. It is my ministry. In my own church I am in the choir ~ and that is my other ministry. Two things I love, two things I devote alot of time to. Two things that seperate me from any other.
I had that sense of perfect peace after hearing the results of a committee meeting that dealt with our future. After hearing how another part of the change would only ensure a few things NOT change. And what seemed like a sense of dread when I first heard now runs a new and fresh excitement through me. I at peace. And my husband is at peace with whatever decision I made. You know why? He knows me. He knows that I am going to not make a decision without praying ~ not when it comes to that. In fact, I think he is proud of me. For not only accepting change, but being willing to flow with the changes.
Who are we to say NO to God? I saw a few immediately say "NO I AM NOT WILLING".... when hearing the news, without prayer. That used to be me. I am learning, evolving, and feel even more so encouraged to let go of the drivers seat and allow God to steer me in the direction He is calling me in ~ in all aspects of my life.
This weekend, I rest. Knowing that as I continue to put my faith and trust in the Lord, I shall not only be living the life that He has called me to live, but our relationship shall continue to grow. I am blessed.