Saturday, March 6, 2010

The AHA moment

Yesterday I had a bit of breakthrough. A miracle in the making as I like to call them! Have you ever had an AHA! moment? I have them every now and then. Not all the time obviously or it wouldn't seem like a miracle.
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It started when I woke up, and weighed in. The scale smiled at me, and told me job well done. I weighed back in at 147.5. Earlier in the week the scale had gone to 153.5. It seems when I follow my 85/15 plan, I may have some water retention from eating higher carb foods, BUT.... it all comes back off when I follow that "fun day" with some good solid low carb days. This apparently is a lifetime thing I can live with. I know the other day I said I wasn't happy because I wanted to the scale to be able to YELL at me the number I want to see.

BUT.... you knew there was another one didn't you? While most women my height (5' 4") 147.5 isn't really on the "THIN" side. Coming from a family who resonates in the obese catagory, I have always longed to be on the thinner side of the margine. Why? Because, I will take the next step and put my big girl pants on to admit that to me, looks do matter. Yes I want to be healthy, but looks are and always have been important to me. If they weren't, I wouldn't color my grey (which is on the list of todo's today), wear make up, dress cute. Anyway, most women my height and weight could stand to lose a few pounds. I am wearing a size 4 bottom (and could probably squeeze into a 2), with a small top. I think that is a perfect size for me. I am wanting to tone up some (that begins this week ~ I kept my gym membership!), but as far as size wise in clothes I am at a perfect size for me. I am one lean momma.

 I must put up a disclaimer RIGHT now! I don't always have this realization. There are many days I don't feel like I lost anything and am right back at 227.5. I was stuck in the fat girl mindset for too long, and that is what my biggest struggle is. It's not losing more weight.

Anyway, in my aha moment I realized that I don't need to focus on "losing" right now. IF I lose more to get to that dream goal awesome. BUT ... right now? I am feeling the freedom to enjoy where I am. I have yet to do that! So for the month of March, I do not plan to do another weigh in until March 31st. (In fact, I am going to put the scale away. I don't really need it to tell me anymore where I am.)

Now in my freedom, I am ready to embrace the rest of the wonderful things in my life. Like my family, and creating once again a Haven for them to rest in. This health thing, has become second nature, I don't need to waste anymore time fully focusing on that.I am slowly learning not to be an all or nothing girl, and this is my first big step.  Have a blessed Saturday!
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2 comments:

  1. I love aha moments like these!!! Congrats on the weight release and realizing this is your life...being content where you are and enjoying every moment. I'm so glad you and I are at that place, we're on the other side. (((hugs)))

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  2. Thanks Paula! Your love and support is so appreciated! I do find it "funner" to be on the other side of it all. :) Life is good. And the funny thing is, I know ... I am okay! Also, good choices are easier to make.

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