Friday, April 30, 2010

I am a bit of a strange creature!

I have come to realize how much different I am then many others I know. The things that are important to me, often go to the wayside with someone else. I can raise eyebrows faster then a flea can bite a mouse! NO kidding! Does that surprise you? If you have spent time with me here on the blog, or even in my real life then this is not something new. It may be something new to me however.

See, for years I have done things to fit in. I have said things in agreement when my heart would scream out for redemption. All for the sake of acceptance. The more I realize what is important to me, the more I am changing and quickly! The more I change, the more I realize *I* am not changing, but my perspective on myself is chanigng.

Take this weekend for example. I committed to a dinner with the choir, AND I have a family reunion to go to. I instead, will be spending one on one time with my husband. We will be reconnecting, and simply just being with one another with no interruptions that we won't allow. Making this choice, I am sure that I will be frowned upon, but this is the most important relationship on this planet (obviously under my relationship with God), and so what if this doesn't line up with someone else's plan for me.


I no longer feel the need to explain myself when I make a decision that I feel in my heart is right. I no longer feel the need to be accepted by those who should love me (family) just because well, we are family. I no longer feel the need to do things simply to make others like me, or feel accepted by anyone. My husband amazes me, and though he may not be the man some think he should be, he displays the unconditional love of Christ every single day. I love this man more as times goes on. And since we have this opportunity to share time with one another, simply just being us, I am taking it with NO regrets.

I put my relationship with my husband on the top of my priority list. Way above my career, even above my children. YES you read that right. My husband is MORE important then my children, for they are an expression of our love for one another, and eventually they will grow up and leave home. That is what we are raising them for. I do not rely on my children to fullfill me, though they do naturally. I do not put them above my husband ever. Now yes, sometimes they get sick and need more time and attention at that moment, and there are times where something is gonig on with one of them, but you (hopefully) get what I mean. Every relationship that I have seen be in trouble, split up, divorced often was the neglect of this relationship. (Not always by the bride ~ but the groom has to do his part too.) There are times my husband gets pushed to the side because his needs come at a time when I am already wrapped up in something (such as dinner, laundry, etc) but I am quickly learning none of that matters. HE matters.

Too many women in my generation ( and if I am calling you out and you get offended ~ I am simply speaking my mind) put too much emphasis on their children and spoiling their children that the husband holds NO priority in their life, and then sings the song "What about me" when it comes to the relationship with her husband. YES it is hard work. YES it takes more then you have sometimes but God did not create the women to wear the pants in the relationship. IF that is how it is, you can expect trouble. Period. I do not, and do not want to wear the pants in the family. I want my husband to fill his role that specifically gave him, and I to fill mine. I know what some of you are thinking. "What if my husband doesn't want to wear the pants?"... my answer is simple. Stop trying to wear them yourself, and he may want to give it a try.

When it comes to our children right now, they are not enrolled in a million different things. They are kids. WE allow them to be kids. Simple as that. They have time to play outside after school. They have time to simply sit and enjoy Saturday morning cartoons if they want. Our daughter is starting Jr. High next year. She will be able to handle such things as sports, and after school clubs. The boys MAY be playing citywide football in the Fall. But..... I can tell you that if they do not get a chance to be kids, these things will be taken away. My kids have an imagination, very rarely complain they are bored, and have manners. I like it like that.

So, yes you can say we are an odd family. ANd honestly, I dont' give a hill of beans!



  1. I completely understand what it means to have all the obligations in the world and turn them all down for your hubby. That was our first big fight, I wanted us to go to a party with my friends he wanted us to go out with his friends, we compromised and spent the weekend together and it was the best weekend ever! cultivating and maintaining your relationship takes work, dedication and sacrifice... but in the end its always worth it!

  2. "My husband is MORE important then my children, for they are an expression of our love for one another, and eventually they will grow up and leave home"...powerful statement!! I totally, TOTALLY agree with you, though it took me some time to get to that place. God first, Hubby second, family (kids) third Hope your time with your Groom is blessed beyond measure. Love ya!!

  3. I so totally agree with you Sheila. I can't say that I have followed that through through my marriage, but I totally agree that a relationship between a husband and his wife should be top priority. I totally get it... If that had been the case with my marriage, I'm sure I would not be where I am at today... Keep writing your blogs, they touch me more than you will ever know!


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