Here are some lyrics that reach out and grab me every time.
Brit Nicole ~ Walk on WaterSee, so many times I allow myself the hope that I can change myself. But doubt sets in, and then all I do is set myself up for failure. Not the kind of failure that brings dispair, but the kind of inward failure that allows fear to keep me from being just ME and NOT what other want me to be. Right now, I can feel it in my spirit that there is not time to waste. ( For me this is not wasting time on friendships that are not fruitful. )
So get out and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait
And don't you turn around, and miss out on
Everything you were made for
Gotta be, I know you're not sure, more
So you play it safe, you try to run away
If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go
I found myself in a place this week where I was appalled and hurt, and confused all wrapped in one. A visit from a friend and her kids left me with my mouth hitting on the floor, and it has taken me a long time to put it back up. I am hurt because this is a friendship that I fostered, one that I put alot of time in and it seems hopeless. I know there is nothing more that I can do to help the situation. We have just gone our seperate ways, and I see now why. My mission is to keep a peaceful safe haven for my family, and myself. Everything about this other family is pure caos. In all things they do. They almost encourage it, but when did this happen? Has it always been there, and I was too foolish to let go sooner? I don't know, but it was made very evident to me that it's time to let go. To stop wishing that things aren't what they are. I do not encourage my children to use foul language, and they are always to be on the best behavior even at home. While I do allow them from time to time to listen to other types of music, I see where I was wrong. I see where it can cause them poor thinking, and I am not about that. I don't want to give into society or even friend's philosophies on how they raise their kids. These are MY KIDS and I am responsible for them.
So, in order for me to "not miss out on everything I was made for", I have to let go of the things that are holding me back, and it's painful. But I would rather go through this pain right now, and be able to embrace the blessings to come.
Then I think of the times we do things as a family and how many times I will automatically change the radio station to play what my husband is used to, not allowing the Holy spirit to lead. I am done doing that. If he changes the radio, I will accept it and allow him to have that control. But... I am not going to do it in anticipation that he is going to fight it. There has been times where he was jamming with the best of us to Toby Mac or Mercy Me. LOL
All this to say, I am not going to "play it safe" anymore, I am taking the first step, AND I am ready to let go and walk on the water too!