I cannot tell you the stuff that is going on inside of me lately. It's like I have this big ball of energy and do not know what to do with it. In two weeks I will have a place for all that energy to go ~ my classroom! I am ready to go back to writing some devotionals, but I haven't decided if they are for the blog, or for a book. Actually it isn't me who hasn't decided. I haven't gotten a clear direction from God.
I can tell you this. I have been having the desire to guard my heart. To guard my eyes. To guard my ears. All against things that are not pleasing to Him. And it's hard. It is letting go of things that "motivated me", yet I realize they motivated me in the wrong way. Part of my mind wants to set me up for failure, yet my soul longs for purity. Part of my mind wants to tell me "It's okay. You can (watch that show, listen to that song, read that book) because well.. your an adult". But my soul longs for freedom of this world, especially things that are pulling me away from my Father. I used to induldge in shows like "Bachelor/Bachelorette" and I am guilty of watching this past season, but not without feeling nauseous. :( I am growing in Him, and well.. there is no time for such garbage. (If you are watching that, and take offense I appologize. IT is just my opinion. There are so many things that are worth your time then trashy tv.)
My heart is worth guarding right now. So is yours. As I draw near to Him, he promises to draw near to me too! And I don't want anything to hinder that. Time with the Father is just a precious experience, and I am trying to build more of that not rob it. It makes me think of how excited the kids (especially the twins right now) get when "Daddy" comes home! My husband is royalty to these kids, and they enjoy every bit of time they get with him. Shouldn't it be like that with the Father of all Fathers? I often in my mind can imagine me crawling up in God's lap, while He sits in his recliner, and simply just share my burdens, silly jokes, and hang on his every word.
Because God is reworking my thinking on weight loss, I even have to be careful to stay clear of those places I used to hang out (online, and in the library), and devote so much time and energy to. The grocery store used to be one too, as I read labels constantly or really made sure I had the "right" foods in my basket. I am enjoying freedom from that and I know I have to be careful. It almost feels like driving a car the first time after you have an accident. I am trying to be open minded, yet Christ centered at the same time. I know what works for one, doesn't work for another, I am just thankful to have found my healing!!
I am going to make some homemade bread today! I haven't done that in so long, but I am excited about that! In fact, I will do one loaf of bread and use the other 1/2 of dough for homemade sticky buns for the kids breakfast in the morning. Hopefully I will remember to take some pictures to just show how easy it really is!