Letting go even more?
I have been able to "let go" for a bit now. This journey of mine has almost been a month though some days it feels so new, others it feels like it has been a lifetime. But I feel this strong desire to let go even more. It is like God is standing there becoming me to become more, to let go of more of what I thought I was, and become more of who He created me to be.
Just this morning I was fighting with myself not wanting to do the simple thing of cooking breakfast. In my head I figured what I would order at the donut drive thru just so I didn't have to. Thankfully I got up out of my husband's recliner which I LOVE to sit in when I get the chance as when you sit in it, it just hugs you back. So what did I cook? A feast! Bacon, pancakes, scrambled eggs, and tater tots. Thankful that I got the energy and umption to do that.
Now, I sit here and I realize that God is calling me to let go of more. I need to let go of the false pretense that I do not have a lazy spirit. I do. And this week it has gotten shifted out of All existing to a little bit less because of working again, but man was it full force when I woke up. As I am moving into a 5 day work schedule, I realize I do not have time to be "lazy". I am going to be in prayer, and asking God to show me the schedule I need to keep in order to keep the structure we have at home, and making sure our home does not give in to chaos. I do not function well when Chaos is around. In fact, none of us were created to function in that kind of lifestyle.
It is amazing how we begin to accomplish one area of our life, and then God will bring to light other areas that need worked on as well. THAT excites me! I am a product of a LIVING God! One who is always in constant motion, and calls us to be as well.
Eating has been really well this week. In fact, with working so much I have realized that I am eating even less then I was before. Simply because by the time I can eat, I don't want to anymore, or I am not as hungry as I would have imagined. So, when I went grocery shopping to prepare for this week, I picked up some fruit and yogurt. We always have stuff for sandwiches, and there are usually left overs from dinner, so there is always something to take. It was NICE not have to buy all these special foods as I would have had to do before when I taught.
I woke up yesterday morning so sore and achey and just figured because it was my body getting used to being more active then it had been. I forgot that I spent a good 10 minutes jumping with some kids from my class during Open house. (Kind of like freeze dancing, but we were jumping to the GoFishGuys!) So, for the first few weeks of school, if I still feel up to taking a walk after dinner, I will indulge. If not, I am not going to push it. I want to feel good about the things I do in my day, and want them to be a natural part of who I am, not anything forced. So, far that is what I have been doing and it feels pretty good.
I am also looking forward to removing excess time watching TV or online in the afternoons. As Fall enters into the distance there is a bit of house decorating that I like to do, but I want to do a good coat of fresh paint around our home first. I will enjoy spending time doing that, and reading deeply into some study materials. I am also considering doing some extensive online studies from Weigh Down Workshop (through Truth stream ) ~ that deal with some other issues such as strong holds at home, other addictions, etc. I have realized that I cannot judge one person because they do not believe all the things that I believe. And when I read the things going on over at truth stream, and realized how many areas of my life need fixing just as much as my "health" did, I cant' stop here. I dont' WANT to stop there.
Our church is hosting a live simulcast from Beth Moore coming in September, and I hope to be a volunteer during that event, if not I will be in attendance soaking up the teaching she has for us. There is just so much more to life then focusing on the silly things of this World. We are planning family activities (outside of the normal) at least once a month if not more. Then I am wanting to host a Fall Party for our friends the weekend of Halloween (On a Saturday) with a jumpy thingy, bobbing for apples, pumpkin carving, and simply just letting the kids be kids, and the guys be guys (manning the BBQ pit). Good clean fun! Those are the things I want to invest in ~ not the next big show on TV.
Speaking of. Do you want to know what I allowed TV to rob from me and my children? Time in the Word together ~ and reading before their bedtime. That's right. I have stolen that from my children ~ robbed them, and I am now taking that back from the world, and giving it to my children again. Yes they are 10 and 8, but they still LOVE being read to. *I* love reading to them as well. It is a bonding experience that we all enjoy and grow from. I have done it from the time they were teeny tiny, and I am so ashamed that I allowed myself to get so self absorbed that I took something so sacred between us and tarnished it. BUT... it's time for redemption!
Amazing when the world thinks of health, they really think of weight, exercise, foods, etc. But when I think of health, and allow myself to think like God on this issue, I think of not only the physical kind of health, but spiritual, emotional, and a very well balanced rounded life. I am glad to be able to be moving forward.
Love in Christ,
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” – John 3:30