This weekend, as God began moving in me, I realized that I have let my husband off the hook for not filling my every need, but I haven't done the same for you. I often find that I am trying to feel many voids in my life, that can ONLY be filled with him by temporal things.
Here is my current list:
That is the best word for it. I LOVE going to church and simply just being in the presence of God amongst other like minded believers. Even if we don't talk to one another, but to just be there. But the problem is, that only lasts for 3 hours on Sunday. That is not a lot when you realize we have 168 hours in a week. For many, and I was in this category for a while, that is the only time they have with God period. 3 hours out of 168. Not a lot is it?
I am very much a people person. I love relationships. I crave them. But I can honestly say that I do not have too many of them, not enough of them anyway, that are fruitful. Instead it is a lot of giving on my part... and yet I feel left empty. Why? Because I am wanting a piece of me to be filled that ONLY God can fill. I need Him to fill it. You can't do it, even if you tried. If you try, it will only (at best) be filled part way.
2. An encouragement
Yes, many of you do give me words of encouragement and I appreciate it, I really do. And many of your blogs bring much encouragement and motivation to continue on this healing path, and I thank you for that. But I need HIS encouragement, because His is lasting. Yours is perfect for just the moment... and usually the moment I need it, but often times it doesn't last.
Yep. That's right. I have been slipping back into the needing of validation from YOU, rather then accepting the validation I am getting from God. His validation comes perfectly, and is not forced. I often times think I seek out someone to say "great job Sheila!" or "You are doing the right thing" rather then waiting to see it from Him.
In all three of these areas, I see where I haven't trusted as I should have. I haven't trusted Him as I should have. I need to! We all need to. I can't give you what only God can give you, and neither can you give that to me. We are foolish to expect that from one another, and we can't move forward until we stop doing it!
I spend hours on face book... just reaching out trying to fill a void. I spend hours reading blogs every week, finding encouragement, an uplift, a reason to continue on this journey. And we spend 3 hours on Sunday in church. ... It just doesn't add up.
God must be the CENTER of my life, not you. God must be the CENTER of my life, not face book. God must be the CENTER of my life, not teaching. God must be the CENTER of my life, not being mom or wife.
God must be the CENTER!
Love in Christ,
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” – John 3:30