Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I have shared this picture with those of you have read my few posts that I had on a weight loss blog, but I have to tell you ~ this blew me away so much so, it still gives me goosebumps AND it also brings me to tears. To know that God loves me so much, that he will completely entertain my need of knowing that I am in deed living my life in a way that HE is desiring me to. When I was learning that this weight loss journey had become so self induced, so self absorbed, I soon became very sensitive to that. Sensitive to times I become greedy ~ however way possible (whether it involved food, time, money, etc).
I am so in AWE of God and the little things He will supply me, when I need them most. An unexpected early bedtime simply from laying down to read, but thankful I had because I needed every ounce of energy to get through a hard day at work. Finding out that some kids in my class simply just love me for who I am ~ good days AND bad included. The wisdom to know that your 11 year old is not ready for school dances (neither was mom), and seeing that it was the RIGHT decision after how some of her choir classmates behaved during a program. I do not want my child exposed to any of that negative behavior MORE then she needs to be. That high five in the clouds when I needed reassurance.
Monday, life almost felt impossible ~ until I realized I KNEW I couldn't do anything alone and I needed to stop trying. Yesterday, His joy was restored within me, and today feels even GREATER! I am at an unspeakable peace, even in situations that I am not sure HOW to deal with. My focus is back, and I am not talking in a self absorbed way. My focus is back onto my relationship with God, with my family, with co-workers, and living the best life I can while learning more about this life that God created specifically just for me. I felt lonely for turning away from focusing on my weight loss publicly but now it is like a weight off my shoulder because I don't have anyone to answer to but Him. I don't have to "report" anything, and I get to enjoy this process for just what it is ~ a process not a popularity contest, not to find validation from those who read, etc. For me, this is truly the best thing that I have done, and to say in the least ~ I am very proud of me.
I am off to finish enjoying my Wednesday afternoon. For dinner we are having roasted chicken, twice baked potatoes, steamed broccoli, and biscuits. YUM! Laundry is going (one load in the dryer, one in the washer), and I am catching up from the Biggest Loser last night. A great afternoon if you ask me!