I am deciding to put the weight loss books (Thin Within, Rise Above) down for a while, as I digest all that I have read over the last few months. I realize I can do that and it's okay. As I was pondering this last night, these are a few thoughts that I had jotted down before I went off to read for enjoyment (Yada Yada Prayer group #2 ~ a reread).
I am going to stop reading for a few days with the exception of for pleasure. God is bringing me into a new place in Him, one that I feel I need to press pause and spend some time reflecting. It's like I can't process another thing until I digest what I have been reading as of yet. I do however know that I will above all else follow my hunger/satisfied cues and realize that it's okay to enjoy what I am eating. On days that I ask God to fill me with Him so that I long for more of Him, and less of food I have no doubt that He does just that. My desire for food is only felt when I am truly hungry, and when the head hunger kicks in ~ I know it's there and there is not a doubt in my mind.
Sometimes we read and we read and we read for more answers, when the answers have been given to us over and over and over. Then you get an AHA moment, and out of no where the clarity your looking for is right in front of your face.
Freedom is not as hard as we make it, in fact it is the easiest thing to walk through. The journey getting there is really as hard as we make it. I don't know about you ~ but I have made my journey pretty painful for me, and everyone around me. I am glad to be ON THIS side of freedom! Am I where I think God wants me? Honestly, I haven't been given a CLEAR number on where God is wanting me to be, and for once I am okay with that. I do refuse to go by the charts that "experts" have sworn by, because that is their idealism ~ not necessarily God's. Again, I am 37, 5'4", and weigh 150 pounds. BUT I am a size 4, and pretty lean (in fact I am still losing tons of inches.... just not "numbers" by following God on this healthy journey). I have more muscle mass and have an athletic type body build then someone who may be same height but smaller framed. I LOVE having an athletic build and more muscle mass because in reality I can look leaner at higher numbers. I go to the doctor next Wednesday. I am going to ask her to do a full panel so that we can "see" what my health picture is.
I am looking forward to some alone time this weekend. To write, to deep clean for the holidays, to simply just be. It is such a blessing to enjoy just being me. I am also going to read and cuddle under some warm blankets because burrrr it's going to be a bit chilly in the evenings/mornings. I may even go for a run.
Love in Christ,
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” – John 3:30