Saturday, October 9, 2010
Intimacy and weightloss **MA post**
Intimacy and weightloss is not always hand in hand. When you are overweight you dont' always feel like being intimate. As much as I loved my husband, when I was at my heaviest, and even in my the midst of my journey I just didn't feel very loveable. I was constantly disgusted with myself, and could not realize HOW he would want to even be with me.
I began getting an attitude and then, alot of the intimacy that we used to have disappeared. I will be honest and say, I couldn't have been happier. I felt "off the hook", yet I needed him to want me. I didn't understand and the more I tried, the worse it got. Then I began losing pretty well, and well I began to feel a bit frisky. By then, my husband had either lost interest, or got tired of being rejected. I began to be the one who was feeling rejected.
I am happy to say, we have found our happy groove again! If you are at the point I was, please do yourself a favor. Actually a few. One, be kind to yourself. Even fluffy girls need lovin! Two, realize that men are different then us, they don't mind the rolls and jiggle during the action. Three, enjoy it. Enjoy the process of losing weight, and don't let it consume you to the point you lose interest in things you truly enjoy.
NOW, all this said I have to add a disclaimer. I am married! It is a gift by God to be intimate witih my husband, infact he ordains it! I was in sin, when I rejected my husband every single time. I was in sin, when I felt so disgusted by my own body, during a time which was designed to bring pleasure. I have found freedom in one more area of my life, and I have only God to thank. If you are not married, then this post wasn't for you. I would never encouarge you to be finding pleasure that God did not intend for you. But if you are, and this particular area of your life is lacking, it's time to discover why and begin working through those issues. I could have said much more, but I know how it feels to be constantly thinking "can he feel that my tummy has two rolls (thankful that I no longer have that)?" or "I hope this room is dark enough!". I have been there before, and again, I am thankful to be on this side of that journey.
Love in Christ,
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” – John 3:30