Have you ever heard words of inspiration that simply just moved you to tears? Have you ever heard yourself say those words and be like .... "*I* said that!?!"? This is where I am right now. I am finding the most inspiration in my own journey ~ which is completely amazing. Does this happen all the time? Nope. But I am going to embrace this moment for what it is ~ a tiny miracle.
I had my visit with my trainer yesterday, and I have to say that I am pleased. During the initial conversation she had to "ask questions they ask everyone", and so it began.
1. Why is now the time? Well, for me, it is always the time. But I am ready to finish what I started, and not quit 10 yards before the finish line.
2. How would you rate your nutrition; excellent, good, fair, poor? Good. (The only reason I didn't say excellent is because I still struggle with not eating at "meal times' even when I am not hungry. For me it isn't necessarily about WHAT I am eating, but if I am even hungry.)
Her eyebrows when up a couple of times in our discussion (as there were more questions then those two), but not in a "Are you kidding me?" kind of way. Instead, it was like she was saying "Wow! This gal's got it! ".
I realized in that moment, that my looking for inspiration is long gone. At least looking to others to inspire me. I realized that no matter what I read, hear, or even watch ~ only *I* can truly inspire myself to live the life I want to. Only *I* can do the work. And it is up to *ME* to seek it out. I spent time last night digging into God's word for myself, because I want to see where God would lead me in scriptures for my health.
It almost sounds arrogant doesn't it? All the *I*'s and *ME*'s. I thought so too, until I realized that anything we do, is by free will. We can choose to serve Christ in life (in all areas) or not. We can also choose to spend our time/days living vicariously through one another, or we can simply begin living our lives as though they are actually worth living.
While I spent my time yesterday at the gym with my trainer, I was soaking it all in. I walked out of there a bit lighter ~ in heart, because I finally was not denying myself anymore. I am one of those who LOVES the gym. I love everything about it. I love the atmosphere, the people, the movement, sweating, and feeling accomplished when I am done. I denied myself that one pleasure, out of "sacrifice" yet I didn't realize how much it would set me back mentally. When I first began reading Rise above and watching Weigh Down Workshop videos on YouTube, I instantly felt a guilt for spending all that time exercising. BUT all I did was the complete opposite and didn't move much on my own. Sure I would walk here and there, and am pretty active in my classroom, but none of it was to the degree that I needed. *I* needed. When my kids are home, I am home. I rarely have time alone unless the hubby is working overtime, and the kids are gone to grandma's. I felt guilty for taking time away for myself, but I realize we need that sometimes. EVEN Jesus would take time for himself from time to time. My time at the gym is my time to refocus, regroup, and rejuvenate my mind, body, and spirit. That is a time that God may begin speaking to me ~ correcting or encouraging. I am moving my body, and "having church" if you will. While I will NOT commit to working out every day, I am looking forward to a few days a week of simply just allowing myself this pleasure.
Love in Christ,
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” – John 3:30