As we remembered my sister yesterday in a memorial service, I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the love from my family (immediate and extended), but confused about the division as we all didnt' sit together. Overwhelmed with peace on how well raised up my nephew was, and the understanding of God his 18 year old self (who suffers from Aspergers) has. My sister really was a wonderful Mom and taught Ricky well. Overwhelmed because I see the pain of her husband, and yet my own had chosen to stay at home. Overwhelmed because I was blessed to see both sets of parents (Mom & step dad and Dad & step mom). My step dad has been my "Daddy" since I was 2. He raised me as his own. We have a deep relationship, that only can be described as a father daughter relationship. BUT... yesterday, my birth Father told me he loved me. He said I know you don't think I do, but I love you more then I can put words to. And, this morning, I know he does love me. Maybe now, we can have some sort of relationship with one another. I long for him to know my kids intimately ~ they funny little quirks, the sound of their laughter, what their fears are. That's what a Grandpa should know.
I am staying in from Corporate worship. I feel just overwhelmed from so much social interaction that I have to pull back a bit. I am drained emotionally, and have not a lot to give out right now. Believe me, I plan on soaking up His word today, and siting in presence, but I need to do it in a private kind of way today. And I think that is okay.
Love to you all! Hold the ones you love near and dear to you tightly today. Begin to love yourself. Above all ~ get to know God our TRUE FATHER, on an intimate level.