Remember the other day when I said something was brewin? Part of that feeling I was having the other day was the desperate depression that I felt when my grandmother passed away (on my paternal side) back in the Fall of 1995. Early this morning I got a phone call that my sister passed away last night. She was 41. I am broken hearted, in shock, and have been fighting these awful gut wrenching pains of guilt for not being as close to her as I should have been. We just never had a deep seeded sisterly relationship. We were split up as young children in a divorce, and while there was always an understanding , there was always a lot of unvoiced questions from us both. I just have this rock in my heart, and a sinking feeling in my stomach. Yet, I have waves of calming peace. I haven't lost many people in my life, and definitely not as often as most people I know. I am truly blessed. But right now, I am also heartbroken.
Needless to say, I could not go to school today. I need to process this whole ordeal. I, for one of the few times in my life, feel very speechless.
Love in Christ,
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” – John 3:30