I am a very competitive person. Or let's just say I used to be. I wanted to be the best at everything. Ya know, a person who can be "diagnosed" as a Type A personality ~ we tend to be perfectionist and get very upset when we can't be the best all the time.
I was awoken this morning with that thought. Competitive or Prideful? God not only woke me up with those thoughts, but I couldn't go back to sleep! Friends, this was at 3:58 this morning, after I had already went to bed 2 hours later then normal! Oh me oh my. When God wakes me up this early, He has something for my heart to receive. This was day two of an early wake up call. I am almost ready to NOT set the alarm anymore, because my trend lately has been to be wide awake before it goes off.
All the times I was competitive in weight loss challenges, even in my head ~ I thought I was doing good. That it was the motivation I needed to make improvements. I didn't realize how prideful it was. The Bible warns about being prideful, and boastful. It also encourages us to run the race (OUR OWN race) and to not give up.
This should be applied to every part of our life, not just the weight related issues.Our homes. Our marriages. Our relationships. Our careers. How we spend our time. Who we spend our time with.
Do you gossip about others? Then you are being prideful. Do you talk about how someone runs their household different then you? Then you are being prideful. Who are we to judge?
I am only here to give the truth of what I have encountered, and I will continue to do so whether you agree with me or not. There were many people in Biblical times ~ who walked with Jesus and trust me, they were misunderstood, and rejected too. The competitive person in me ~ would fight that and BEG for another chance to show you how good and pure my heart really is. But ... I am not so prideful to think that I have to do anything to control a situation anymore. I give it to the Lord. I share what I feel led to share, even when I myself don't understand it all the way. I am growing. I am moving to the next level, and I wouldnt' have it any other way. There is a pruning going on in my life, but let me tell you something ~ it's the best thing that has happened. Things are being stripped to the bare surface where I can no longer deny my sin, my longing, my desire. I am not hiding behind a phesod anymore, hiding what I truly feel and believe. I have a feeling through this pruning, God is going to be continuing to revealing things to me, which I will share here on the blog. You may not like it, but this blog isn't about pleasing the readers (while I still hope it is used by God to draw you closer to Him), it is about sharing my journey ~ the process. A refining process is not all "touchy feely" good. It hurts sometimes. It is painful, long, and when you think you can't take one more second, God comes forth and the blessings begin to just appear.