She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat. Proverbs 21:27 (Amplified)
One of my most favorite bloggers of all times always tags the above verse into her blog posts. Her main purpose not only for her blog, but for her life to show the love of God, live in a way that brings Him glory, and worry about her own before worrying about anyone elses. God has used Mrs. Cheryl over the years to speak to me, to develop this deep seeded longing for my life. She truly has been my Titus 2 example above and beyond anyone else over the past few years.
I have been blogging for many years now and until 2008 it was mainly just about my life; my day to day existence.I am a very personable person and love to read blogs. I love to "get to know" people. Over the years I have kept a handful that I read but over the last three years I began reading more and more blogs, spending countless hours when I could reading, being a fly on the wall. In some ways, tending to someone elses household rather then mine. I am full of suggestions, comments, and encouragement for other bloggers, but even that is spending a lot of time eating bread of idleness. Misery loves company right? All through out the time I was losing weight ~ when I struggled I had more support from readers, friends, etc then when I have been successful. ON message forums, if your the "upbeat one" you are often over looked because once again "misery loves company".
In other words I have been spending a lot of time being idle (to pass time without working or while avoiding work; to move lazily and without purpose), then I have tending to my household. And in all honesty, it's not just by reading blogs, but spending hours on social networking sites as well as "support forums".
This week has truly been a breakthrough of a week for me. One idol after another, I have begun to lay down. The obsession with the scale. The exercise is a must mentality. The need to be accepted. And now... this desire of having to feel a part of something online.
For years, my time online was one of the biggest ways to find fellowship outside my home without leaving my own living room. I have friends, good friends now. I LOVE my family more today then I ever have. Love increases with time. I have seemed to mature with time, and want to embrace these tender moments more and more. I am realizing as I get closer to God through this journey of freedom, that I have allowed my self to live in social bondage ~ relying solely on the wrong things to satisfy that longing to belong. I already belong. AMEN!
With only a few more days of 2010, I am ecstatic that God waited, in His perfect timing to help me not only break these shackles of bondage, but to SEE them broken one after another this week. I have been taught more these last five months of my life then I have in a VERY long time. I have true joy within my soul. The smile on my face, is not one of a mask, but of genuine happiness.