Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life. Psalm 139:23-24 (Message)
God has been giving me these one word wonders lately. For a while it was joy ~ and I have to say my life filled with LOTS of joy around that same time. I am still able to embrace joy like never before.
Here lately it is Silence. (Go ahead and click on that word for precious jewel of what God means by silence) In a way, God has been calling me to a place of Silence. One I fight every moment with all that I am because I am a "great communicator". In reality, I am a great talker. I am slowly learning to listen. As a teacher, I know the mouth and the ears do not work well at the same time. One has to stop, for it to be the best of the situation. Too many times I want to talk through a situation, to "get it out", yet not yielding to hear what the Lord is trying to SAY through that situation. When someone is rendered speechless, it is often because they are not usually quiet enough to hear what took them by surprise enough. It's there. Every day.
I feel a pull... to be more silent. To allow silence to surround me, in order to get down on my face before the throne. See, it's not enough to just get down to my knees ~ I am past that point. I need to be on my face, in His presence, and that doesn't happen without silence. It can't! Without silence, how would anyone know they are welcome!
When I say I am a good communicator ~ what I basically mean is I have a gift of the gab. And it's down right annoying me lately. I can't even find silence when it is just me sometimes, and that is downright wrong. I truly feel God pulling me into a place of Silence. A place where the only spoken word should be minimal, meek, and humbling ~ not to others, but to myself
Just recently my deepest desire began to want to run to the Father with my hurts, pains, confessions, yet I find myself turning to people ~ who truly have no part of the situation but have a listening ear. While I do believe God gave us each other for fellowship, friendship, and the like I also believe He never intends us to run to one another before we run to Him.
Silence (noun) (definition found here)1. The condition or quality of being or keeping still and silent.
2. The absence of sound; stillness.
3. A period of time without speech or noise.
4. Refusal or failure to speak out.
I feel a period of Silence coming. One that I am honestly crying about, but out of obedience I have no other choice but to just do it. I feel it within my spirit that I need to Silence myself in a way that is described as "a period of time without speech or noise". It is very hard, but that means walking away from some habits ~ chatting on facebook about every little detail of my life, running to some friends before God, sharing some intimate moments between God and I that maybe were just meant for He and I. He wants me to be silent, so that He can dwell, and be silent in me.
In the Silence ~ Jason Upton
In the silence you are speaking.
In the quiet I can feel the fire
and it's burning burning deeply
Burning all that it is that You desire
to be silent in me.
My soul is screaming out ~ not to be heard, but to be quiet!
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10 NIV
So, where do I go from here? I wait. I silence myself, and I wait. As long as it takes.