The wife of a man from the company of the prophets cried out to Elisha, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that he revered the LORD. But now his creditor is coming to take my two boys as his slaves.” Elisha replied to her, “How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?” “Your servant has nothing there at all,” she said, “except a small jar of olive oil.” Elisha said, “Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don’t ask for just a few. Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side.” She left him and shut the door behind her and her sons. They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. When all the jars were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another one.” But he replied, “There is not a jar left.” Then the oil stopped flowing. She went and told the man of God, and he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debts. You and your sons can live on what is left.”
2 Kings 4:1-7
This morning as I was sitting here with my cup of coffee, I realized just how blessed I am. I also realized that the blessings are often hidden and we can't see them quite as clearly as we can the trials of life. The trials that knock us off our feet.
When a trial comes, it often comes in the form of a broken heart, a heart ache, destruction, or worse ... devestation. It's loud. It is unable to be ignored, and makes sure you won't ignore it.
When a blessing comes, often times it has been there a while before we even see it. It's often quiet, and doesn't yell for attention.
During every single trial, we have a choice. We can focus on the trial, disecting all the who's, where's, and how's or we canf ocus on looking for the blessings that are always there. We can learn to trust.
Trust. It is such a hard thing to walk in. Trusting someone, even God, with any part of our lives means that we are letting go of our own control. Trusting God with everything I am, is taking all I have to give up all that control. There comes a breaking point in our live that eventually we are brought to that leads to complete surrender. I personally said "I can't do this anymore!" I hit a wall. A brick wall. A wall that brought complete pain inside and out. I came to the end of my rope and realized I had not gone anywhere. By not giving God m y all, I ended up walking (sometimes even running) around in circles rather then going further in my journey.
It's time to follow God's lead in everything I do - from morning to night. This week I have learned how to follow God's lead in the little things, which in all honestly is much more difficult then following His lead in the big things. And I was tested in that following. Seeing it happen before me was actually exciting. It wasn't neccessarily easy because you know, I am thirty seven and I have been a control freak for a very long time. Giving up the control is the hardest thing I have ever done.
Just as ducks keep a "leader" I am allowing God Almighty to lead the way. It's a beautiful, and most peaceful thing that I have ever experienced. Knowing that God is in control, and I am not, allows me to let go and just be. By me just being .. well, me, it leaves me open to be all that God needs me to be for Him, for others, for this life.
There was a while where a few friendships seemed to have been pruned from my life. I didn't realize it, but it was needed. Not so I could feel alone - which I did often, too often. Why? Because I didn't learn to turn to Him. I would run to my friends with my problems, my fears, my secrets. I would run to them when I needed to vent, to cry, to have someone tell me they understand my thoughts, my fears. God asks us to trust Him - to go to Him first. Why? Because then our friends, husbands, family, can be all that He created them to be in our lives which is never the intent of being our life lines, our everythng. God is the one and only life line we should have. The relationships we build, are for just that. Relationshps.
God is now reserecting a few of my in real life relationships. (Not the online blessings, but true in my face kind of friends).These friendships that I thought were long gone, are now becoming fruitful again. One friend had moved away and I didn't realize it at the time, but totally devestated me. She called me yesterday to inform me she is moving back to town, just a few miles from my house in fact! We share a lot in common, including the church we attend, even our birthday! (Though I am a few years older then her.) Another friend and I have also been drawn back together by God's hands. She is going through a tough time,and my heart was softened and encouraged to serve her in whatever way He leads me to.
God is just so wonderful! How foolish to not trust Him with everything I am,, knowing that He will do no wrong in and through me. I surrender my everything to Him alone! My life, My love, My all!