Saturday, August 18, 2012

Fller up!

Move me. Those are the words on my heart, in my mind, deep within the very being of my soul. MOVE ME LORD, MOVE ME!

This past week has been pretty amazing, yet as I end the week I look back and need the desperate filling of my heart ~ by no other then God himself. It seems that when we give all of who we are, if we do NOT fill that hole back up, we feel empty! This morning, I am empty. And, in all reality, it's of my own doings. Morning till night ~ busy preparing the classroom for the year and then Open House. Don't get me wrong by any means, I LOVE what I do. I LOVE doing all the things that it takes to have a successful classroom. But I don't love it or even like it when I begin to feel empty inside. This is the FIRST time I have ever noticed what it is. Before, I would just assume I was tired physically (which I was), but never be able to associate it with anything else. Especially anything spiritual.

Why do I share this publically? Because.... I am sharing growth, the good kind of growth. LIFE changing growth. I have spent many years focusing on the growth in my weight loss journey, or even in my parenting. Yes, I have grown spiritually, but it sometimes seems so small that it's almost not worthy of sharing, or so I thought. Now? I realize every bit of spiritual growth is that much more important then any physical, financial, mental growth around. Why? Because it is deep deep within us. The spiritual growth is what moves us, motivates in ways that the other ways of growth are often just a bi product of the spiritual growth.

So what do you do when you are completely empty? Well, you refuel of course! You refuel with what will be lasting and as satiating as possible, not with whatever fills the hole, or even what may feel like it should be adequate. You dig in the Word, spend time in quiet, and pray!! Realizing that i am on an empty tank is disturbing. One week in, and I feel completely depleted. Time to make sure the fuel I refill with is holy, complete, and not distorted. So, today ~ I ask God to move me! Move me to a place where I begin to refuel before I hit empty. Move me to encourage others to be refueled, and to not hit rock bottom.


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