Remember that old fun game of 'follow the leader'? Were you like me and wanted to be the leader all the time? I did. I am being completely honest here. I wanted to be the leader! When we played school, I LOVED playing the teacher! (go figure!) When we played school and others wanted to be the teacher, fine. I was the principle.
In every job I have had, I have been put into one leadership position or another. Not asking to be, just automatically done. I do believe in "natural born" leaders, because I do see them in my preschool classroom. I would never thought I was, but maybe so.
Regardless, I am in a season of letting go of the reigns. Not taking the leadership role in our home (as in being the headship), allowing my husband to be the leader. I would like to say that I do not lead my family but in many ways I have. The secret adventure that we are on, is one that God has placed before us. It is ordained by Him, not only to pursue this family change for us, but also to dig deep within our hearts. Some would say that I must mean "to see what we are made of" but God already knows that! Sometimes though, we must be prompted to dig deep in our lives, and see what areas we are not living in His will ~ even if they seems o tiny and minute to someone on the outside. Actions speak louder then words, and the motive of the heart is the song that actions dance to. I must ask myself today, before we venture out to the next step, "What exactly is my motive?" and "What does God say my motive should be?". Do they match up? Do they even come close?
We are looking to making a life changing move in our lives, something that is going to change every bit of who we are, and what we will become one day. What is my motive in this? Is it to gain selfishly all the things I wanted all this time, or is it to do what's the best for the entire family. Is it to manipulate my husband to settle his desires to match mine, or is it to die to my selfish desires to meet his? Some would say a marriage should be 50/50, but really if your only giving 50 percent ....... you have half a marriage. Send me comments whatever, but if you truly want to have a marriage as God intended it has to be 110/110. We both need to give all we have and more, and NOT expect anything in return. Loving someone completely, is allowing them to be who they are as God created them and expecting nothing in return. When we do this ~ you have a marriage that is based on LOVE not on scratching each other's backs. You have a marriage based on trust ~ not lies or manipulation to get your way. Marriage is NOT a compromise! It's a give and give relationship. Until we completely get this and understand it the divorce rate in our country will continue to climb. And while I am on my soap box ~ women we have GOT to get back to the way things used to be. God created EVE not to be the dominant one in the marriage, but to be the helper of her husband Adam. Eve was the one who was created to complete humanity, to compliment Adam ~ not dominate! I will gladly say I do not wear the pants in my marriage ~ nor do I want to. There are times that I feel like I do, and often it is ONLY because I have become selfish in my thinking! Sure, I also work outside the home but it is a choice. My husband likes it, and it works for our family. BUT..... my husband is the leader of our family, and I need to stop trying to take the lead role.