Trust. Such an easy word that can roll off our lips in a time when a friend needs a word of encouragement. An easy word that can roll of our lips when others are going through such trials in their lives, yet when it comes to our OWN circumstances, how often do we just trust? I like what the Amplified Bible says about trusting God.
5 Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.6 In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 Amplified
I sit here in the middle of my own kind of circumstance and this feeling of anxiety overwhelms me deep within. My mind, heart, and emotions battle it out trying to crown one or the other the victor. All while knowing deep within me that THIS is a test. This is a test of trust. Do I REALLY trust God, or do I just say I do when things are going smooth? Can I REALLY let go of my own understanding or do I go about my own way trying to make things happen, like a child tries to force a puzzle piece that doesn't fit into the hole?
This morning I am reminded this is one of those moments. One of those moments where the whole world as we know it (family, friends, onlookers, etc) are watching me, to see just how I will handle a situation such as this. It is overwhelming like a monster coming in, yet I will not fail this test. There is NOT ONE THING I can do to change this situation better than trusting and praying. Beyond that, just knowing God is sovereign and in control, who am I to question His timing and the way He wants to handle something? So what will the world see during this time of testing? Me expressing the joy that is within me of the life I have right now at this moment. The world will see me standing in faith that this particular situation will flow just as God intended ~ hiccups, growing pains, and all. The world might also want to take note that my marriage is growing stronger day by day, the kids are again coming "home" and enjoying their time with one another more then ever before, the trees are beginning to burst a bit of yellow, and we have a flock of cardinals that like to flitter about in a symphony dance in the backyard in the evenings. Right now ~ those things cannot be changed by any circumstance we face unless it is ordained and accepted by God Almighty. And for once, I am okay with that.
These moments of testing in trust are moments that can be used to encourage (or sadly discourage) someone else who may go through something similar later down the line. These moments are faith builders ~ not only for those going through it, but for the onlookers as well. God is much more creative then Hollywood and reality TV, and His outcome is always as HE plans. These moments of life, that seem so "out of whack" are ones that define our character. I shall not be defined as a wimp ~ failing to trust in the unfailable God Almighty. I shall not be defined as a wishy washy Christ follower who only believes when things go her way. I shall not be defined as a control freak ~ for they are the ones who have not learned that when we let go of those reigns and give control to God, things work out for the best.
What we see right now is NOT the whole picture, just a teeny tiny speck of dust in our lifetime. When I let go, trust God guess what?! The anxiety goes away, and I know there is nothing that I need to do other then give this struggle and circumstance to Him, and listen for His lead.
I know this is a very vague post, and in due time I will come forth and share the full details of "the circumstance" but for now I have triangled it with God ~ and HE knows! Can't wait to share it with you though! While I may not be able to see the outcome right now ~ I know it's going to be fabulous! It will be nothing I could have ever done for myself, alone.