Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Finish what you start: An open letter to myself

Dear Mrs. Sheila,

Before I begin, may I say you have had a GREAT year! A year of some firsts, and tackling things you were afraid of (eye doctor), and began even embarking on following your dreams (writing). You have a GREAT classroom of kids that should be inspiring you to move forward not only in your career, but in everything you do.

One part of your day is NO different then another part ~ it's all a part of your day. ONE big part. The whole enchilada. The whole shabang! Your day consists of wearing many different "hats" but they are all a part of who YOU are!

It's easy to listen to how other's perceive how one should live, but it isn't the same as living the life YOU know to live ~ and seeking guidance from two sources, your husband and God Almighty! This has been a year where you have learned what it is like to truly let go and just lay down under that authority being covered by protection and love. There is no one in this life right now that is more important than your husband ~ and following his lead will not only bring blessing in your life, but break many generational curses handed down from one previous generation to another. Allowing your husband to lead, allows God to move in his life like never before ~ even showing His face in the most intimate of ways to you both.

Taking care of your body isn't for your benefit. It is for the benefit of being able to serve, love, and minister as you stay under this authority. At one point in your life taking care of your body was simply out of vanity ~ to look good. It really had nothing to do with health, it was all about looking good. Going from obese to the weight your are now opened up a whole new world. People began to treat you different, some even left you behind because you were "different" then them. Other's embraced your friendship because you were NOT different from them. Even so, there are a few people that still just accept you for you. For who YOU are deep within. Doing things for people's approval ~ or even their acceptance is not the way to live. It really doesn't matter who accepts you for you ~ what DOES matter is you need to accept yourself for who you are. Not looking at what your not ~ not looking at what you could be. Look at who you are right now and embrace that. Stop trying to "do the right thing" simply for acceptance. Do the right thing because it is right. Be who you are in private ~ in public. Be that same witty girl behind the glasses and no makeup everywhere you go. People that do accept you for that ~ either love you for who you are or ..... they at least just accept you for who you are at this moment. Embrace that! The point is you are not completely healthy until you embrace YOU, all of you. The bony knees, ankles, and elbows, the enlarged belly button (thanks to 2 pregnancies ~ one of those being a twin pregnancy), the goofy laugh with a snort when it is really funny, the dimples that now show on your slim face. Accept who YOU are ~ not because your that great, but because that is who God has molded you to be right now! YES you will change ~ we all do. Time, experience in life, circumstances always change us. But .... why not take a moment, a day, to simply just be ~ and ACCEPT it.

So what if you have a "I don't want to do nothing day" after days and days of going, doing, and being productive. So what if you have a day that you are so busy that facebook has no meaning or desire. There are days different parts of your personality are going to flourish while other parts take a backseat ride for the day. Allow yourself the freedom to explore and enjoy this YOU that you are today. If tomorrow your quiet and reserved then so be it. If your loud and goofy today ~ so be it. JUST BE IT!

This letter is to remind you have that writing that you started weeks a go. It's time to pick it back up. Yes there are a million things you should be doing! There are a TON of exciting things going on right now. But ... now's the time. This afternoon ~ embrace it. Take care of the things you know you need to then make that time to write! Get it out and don't stop! Finish what you started! This first book in the series was supposed to be a gift. A gift to yourself. A gift to your daughter. And most importantly, a gift to this world! Don't let this dream die, or even sit on the back burner any longer.

All said in love,
your innerself

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