Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Thankful day 14: The Princess

This morning I sit here and there was so much I ponder. I am thankful for many things but there were two that set on the tips of my heart. The biggest of them ~ The Princess. Our daughter. The teenager in the house. This girl has been with the husband and I for every single day of her life (with exception of sleep overs and such), and we grew as she grew. We grew as a family. We grew as adults. We have watched her grow from this tiny baby into a beautiful young lady, taller then I.

The other night we were blessed to take the time to have some girl only time. It has been far too long and we were both so full of love and gratitude from that evening. This girl is teaching me so much, and as I sit here I realize there is much to be learned about ourselves through our children. Parenting isn't about raising children ~ it's about the growth of everyone involved!

The princess is full of life! She giggles a lot, is funky in her own individual way, she's not afraid to be herself, but has enough awareness to know when there are times we need to conform a bit. I want our children to be leaders, not followers, yet ... I want them to see situations from more then a leader's perspective.

This girl of mine, is teaching me more and more that I WANT to be comfortable in my own skin.  There was a time when I was, but somewhere between the end of high school and creating a career, becoming a wife and a mother I lost it. This is the second part of that "thankful". I am thankful for what my children are able to teach me ~ simply by being free enough to be themselves around us. As adults we stifle that too much. We want to be liked, whether it be by our spouse, our boss, heck, even the neighbors. We want to be thought of as responsible, wise, and well spoken ~ yet deep inside we want to let our hair down, make a spontaneous decision without consequence, and to for once speak what's on our mind with no recourse. Instead we (meaning me) remains quiet, self critical, full of anxiety and still aiming to please and be recognized by the ones we love most. If I truly was comfortable in my own skin ~ there would be no critical self analyzation. There would be no anxiety, because I would be free to just trust life as it is happening before me. There would be this joyous continuous conversation with others with NO fear of slipping and saying something you shouldn't. This is the season I am now approaching. Perhaps that's normal for 39. It's time to embrace the complete and whole Mrs. Sheila ~ not just the pieces that are publicly accepted. And.... I look at my daughter's sleeping face and whisper "Thank you"! I thank her for sharing her heart and her life in all that she does and says. There is not this wall put up ~ leaving me wonder what's going on. She lives her life fully and completely with fervor and excitement. SHE is comfortable in her own skin. (even on nerd day), and by doing so reminds me that I too know how .... I just have to find my way again.


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