What do you do when it all falls apart. Not like a marriage, or losing a child, but a hope, a wish, a dream. What do you do when you see it slip between your fingers?
Do you want to know what I do? I cry. I get angry. Then I begin to see that there is a bigger picture beyond the emotions. Usually, that all takes place in just a few short hours and it's a world wind tunnel of emotions that makes it feel like the world is coming to an end, but after a good nights sleep it is easy to see that God is just whispering it's not time. And then you see that this whole thing (whatever it may be) is not just about you and your family ~ but perhaps the heart of another. Perhaps God used us, to open the heart and the eyes of someone else who had a wall up to hear His gentle prompting. Perhaps the gift of this Christmas ~ isn't one that we can see, walk in, but one that we can rest in knowing we were a part of.
Then... I move on. I see the beauty of the life that is right in front of me, and realize... this masterpiece of NOW isn't finished! There is more to be done here, now, at this place before we could ever really move forward. There is still healing to be had. Growing to be done. Work to be accomplished. Dreams to be dreamt. Hope and Joy to be experienced and shared.
The good news? Through it all God remains the same. Steadfast. Holy. Wise. And through it all, I remain in this spirit of learning, growing, and changing. I am ever thankful for a new day, a new dream, a new focus. Through it all, may God use me in the lives of others ~ one way or another.