Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Kiss: The Garden of our Hearts
Yes, another post regarding my "word" of the year. Bare with me, as my heart is being prepared for it's garden for the year. See, I truly believe our lives ARE like a garden ~ and sometimes deep within we must be toiled, and shaped, and left to sit for a bit before the planting, growing, weeding, and harvesting can happen. Right now.... I am being both toiled for a bit, and then left to recover. As "painful" as that may sound, really it is liberating and a beautiful personal process.
Lately, I find great happiness when it is solely our little family. We have been uprooted (by our choice), and replanted. By pulling closer to our family unit it is helping those roots to take into the new ground and find that there is strength in solitude. If there isn't strength in solitude, there can't be strength as a whole plant. Each root that gets firmly grounded gives strength to the one of the other roots. Once each root has been grounded and there is strength in taking hold, then.... we can spread out a bit more.
Last night, after dinner I had this deep desire to just go outside on our back porch alone. I followed that desire, and was ever amazed! The husband came out for a minute to check on me (and found me sitting in one of the kid's chairs LOL), but when it was just me I realized WHY I was called outside. The wind! The skinny trees on the other side of the fence. The crickets. The frogs. They were all singing their little love song to God ~ and I was just taken by awe. Where the birds leave off, the crickets take over. When the sun goes down, the moon takes over. When the wind whips through the land, it stirs up something new. EVERYTIME!
I sit there and think of all the time I spend worrying about the nothingness of the day, yet while the deepest desire within is to just praise God for who He is.... and that I am able to experience every little amazing thing. Yesterday morning on the way to work, I had a few stops to make, yet God gave me a glimpse of beauty ~ a duck! Yes, I am amused by the littlest of things, and I think that is part of having that child like faith God calls us to have. As long as I am not consumed by the nothingness of the day ~ I can truly be taken by the beauty of the littlest of things God puts before me. Had I been worried about work, what have you, I would NOT have seen the duck, yet had the time to watch it and take a moment to thank HIM for letting me see it.
At this moment I feel challenged to continue to look for those LITTLE moments of AWE and avoid lingering in the nothingness. Let me explain what I mean by "nothingness"
Nothingness is anything that doesn't advance the kingdom of God. Here is my list of "nothingness" that can consume me before I can realize it.
1. What is going on in other preschool classrooms other then mine. I really can't stand work drama. When I avoid it all life is good.
2. What others are finding success in, even if I am not.
3. "Being right" ~ and making sure others know I am right. (This can be with customer service people, or heaven help me ~ even my own family.)
4. Being recognized for what i am doing. Guess what. Who cares?! God sees and that is all that matters.
Today, I worship with all that I have. I worship while teaching my preschool class ~ and ask that God show me those "awwww" moments that I would normally miss because of the nothingness that run amuck outside the walls of the classroom. I worship while doing laundry, for we have clothes and the ability to keep up with them daily~ instead of spending hours on a day off doing them. I worship while cooking (and cleaning) because God has truly given me a heart of a servant here at home. I worship while on the computer (literally ~ because right this minute I am listening to a podcast titled "How to have a childlike heart" which by the way just started, and that makes me giggle because I was JUST talking about that! THAT is how intimate God is!) I worship while I am driving, because I do not have to walk 22 miles to work each way. Instead I listen to worship music or pray. I worship while I am shopping ~ because God has given me a strong body to walk the isles and gather the things I need. I worship by being kind to the person checking me out ~ EVEN if they are not kind to me. I do not need them to know 'i am right', but I do need to let them know they are appreciated and loved. Who am I to give them an "attitude adjustment"? I am no one! When I do that ~ it is often because I needed an attitude adjustment myself and all I did was make us both miserable. That kind of behavior is NOT rewarded by God! I worship while on facebook ~ because God has given me so many friends both here in my own little world, and across our big world including Ireland and Australia!
So, I toast today and give it to HIM as a form of worship! I allow the work to be done, the heart to be toiled and worked so that a garden of HIS goodness can spring forth.