Thursday, January 31, 2013
This week God has really been laying one word on my heart. A word to focus on. More then a word. A mission.
I looked up that word, and can I just say there are tears in my eyes. I have a lump in my throat. I am in awe.
1. Firmly fixed in place; IMMOVABLE
2. Not subject to change.
3. Firm in belief, determination, or adherence; LOYAL
Woah. There is one area I am anything but steadfast ~ and this is where God is working on me. I always want to change up, do things differently, blame things on the fact that they are not working ~ rather then me staying steadfast where God has led me and being completed in Him through that journey. Sure I KNOW how. I am steadfast in my marriage, parenting, teaching. But I am not steadfast in trusting God and walking the way in health that He has called me to. I always want to run to someone else, something else, another plan, a miracle. The miracle will be if I would just stay steadfast, and be loyal ~ I would see the fruit of that!
The great news? Because God has impressed it so deeply within me, that is where my heart is searching for! That is what I am longing for! I LONG to become the woman of God that He created me to be ~ and I can't be that if I am not steadfast in this ONE area of my life. I remain lacking, longing, unsatisfied. Sometimes being steadfast is a journey that is solely meant to be a quiet, and often lonely walk. Yes there will be people along the way, conversations, family gatherings, fellowships, sharing of meals with friends and neighbors, yet....there are times of no one else but me and God. And it needs to be that way ~ otherwise we are constantly in motion, looking, comparing our lives with others, and using those stepping stones to see if we are on the "right track", rather then staying steadfast on the path before us that is clearly marked at times, sometimes hidden in fog, sometimes leading to a deep forest where we are not sure what is before us. The good news? We are never ALONE! This is a "God Journey"... He is there. Digging. Plowing. Pruning. Laying down steps to step on to lead the way.
I had disturbed sleep last night ~ because I was willing to NOT be steadfast. I was ready to run ~ (not literally), and hide behind whatever I knew to be acceptable. I wasn't willing to break out against what others may think. Being stead fast puts at a choice. Choosing the steadfast journey ~ or choosing not to be.