Tuesday, November 5, 2013
A broken addiction ~ 11 years in the making!
For over 11 years I had become one of those statistics. A housewife who got her kicks from the Internet ~ and no, I don't mean sexually. I meant emotionally. I found "approval" there. It was a safe place to hang out where strangers could meet and "be friends". Eleven years!!!
I am in a new season of my life, one I had desired for so long. A season of enjoying life, and actually living it. More and more each day I am learning to let go of people's expectations of myself, including my own. By doing so, it has birthed a whole new me. Did this happen from turning 40? I have no idea. I am just thankful it did.
For years i have started my mornings with coffee and computer time. This morning I was thinking hey, grab the coffee ditch the computer, yet out of habit here I am. Then it hit me. This isn't who I am anymore, why "make" it happen!?
Yes I am a blogger. I am a writer. Those things will forever be there ~ but ..... I could care less what Susie Dolittle did overnight, or what her kids did in school. Not being mean ~ just saying that I don't need to know all the details of every one's life. It's not who i am anymore, yet it used to be what I lived for.
This Tuesday morning, may just be the last morning that I dedicate to specifically coming here against my own inner will who has been screaming for so much more! Yesterday I came home and did not even turn on the computer! I got busy ..... cooking dinner (it was chili so I wanted it to simmer), and cleaning. We had a fire in our fireplace over the weekend and I like to clean that up right away so it's ready to go the next time.
This afternoon I am baking some treats for my crew, and well.... either going for a run or a walk. Then .... more writing! Book one will be complete this month. I would love to be able to print it out and wrap it up as a Christmas gift for my husband ~ just as a gift of sharing my heart through the written fictional word. As a "it's been my dream, and I finally did it!" kind of gift ~ since he has supported me for quite some time now.
Have a great Tuesday! Are you "addicted" to computer time? Is that where you find your self worth? Perhaps it's time to pray, and ask God to lead you to something that is more fulfilling and worth while!