|Photo courtesy: unknown|
Ladies, do you do this? Do you stand in front of that mirror and poke and prod areas that just aren't visually appealing?! UGH!
Mind you, yes I did enjoy the flirting and intimacy that we shared that morning but I can honestly tell you it was RUINED by my vanity.
Not only that ..... God convicted me of something even bigger than my vanity. I undermined my husband's choice in his mate. Here, let me share the areas of conviction.
1. Respect. I am sure I lost a little bit of respect from my husband by his witnessing what almost becomes a daily ritual. Why? Because he does not apparently see me the way I see me. He sees me for what I am worth, my value. I see myself at my "discounted" value, because of my flaws. Not only am I criticizing myself, I am criticizing his choice in the mate he chose.
2. Honor. I lost a little bit, because of that said criticism. I devalued his mate picking choice by devaluing myself.
3. Doubt. If am nitpicking myself .... am I secretly nitpicking him? If so, than what's the point?!
There is more I am sure, but I was crushed just by these revelations. Why are we as women so concerned about being this perfect eye candy!? The one man who I want to impress, is already impressed! It's a vicious cycle that I have got to find an end to. It is ruining me.... and dampening our intimacy ~ even if it is just grimicing in disgust as I pass a mirror.
It is the one thing that pushes me over board ~ on dieting/exercising. Not being comfortable in my own skin. But sadly..... it also opens my eyes to how OVERLY self focused I am. *sigh*