Thursday, April 24, 2014

A Brain Dump

Where we live, we do not have "city utilities" provided. Instead we are responsible for having certain things provided by the city like water (our's is ran by a private company), mail (our's is delivered by a nearby branch but our own "town" does not have a post office), and garbage pick up. Garbage pick up either has to be hired out at our expense or we  pay to utilize a dump location. We take ours to the dump. I have to run out to the post office to check the mailbox (from previous address and from bloggy fun mail) ever week anyway, so it really isn't that inconvenient.

However, this particular blog post is definitely going to be a "brain dump" ~ because I have so much swimming around in my head that if I don't get it out I feel like I am going to suffocate. I am finding the older I get the more disordered I feel.

While the year has been very fruitful, you can tell it's getting close to the end of the year. I always feel challenged this time of year because the kids are well ... bonkers! This by far has been the most enlightening year to me, and one where I have definitely come out of my comfort zone and have accepted change. With that said, there is possibility for more change up ahead. Bracing for that is like preparing for a hurricane. You can be prepared but until it actually happens you have no clue how prepared you were.

Right now it is busy! The teenager is in the midst of preparing for drill team try outs next week which in turn switches my work schedule some ~ but thankful I am able to do that. The twins are about to be 12 in another month too! Up until last weekend when I simply just hit rock bottom with a severe cold things were running smoothly in a new cleaning routine. I am still fighting to get that stamina back up!

I am a sinking ship. There I have said it and admitted it. I truly feel like I am a baby kangaroo..... jumping here and there and not feeling comfortable in my own skin. There was a time when I was getting there ~ loved my body, and felt good. Today? Not so much! I am overwhelmed and feeling WAY uncomfortable not only in my skin, but in clothes too. Other than that I am one "healthy" momma. This week I have encountered a few new "workouts" that I love! They are dance routines but man oh man can they get your heart rate up and get your whole body moving! I wont' discuss what I am doing "eating" wise... until God really gives me a clear green light to do so. I do so much better when I am going "solo". Why? I have no idea! I just know that I am being called to privacy in this area so I will embrace that and work at it until He releases me to talk about it with you! ( It will be a documented journey, so when the time comes He gets the glory with a full complete testimony, not a wishy washy one.)

I love my husband more every day. In my daily life I am exposed to so many different kinds of relationships that as each month goes by I am reminded how important the one between husband and wife is ~ and how it truly does effect who we are as individuals both inside and outside the home.  I see it in my own life and those around me; those who are thriving and struggling.

When I am listening to too many voices (both externally and internally) I learn that the writing process for me is hindered. Both here on the blog, and on the novel. When I shut those voices out ~ and let go and just enjoy a variety of things (podcasts, videos, music) rather than just ONE solo source, the writing returns. I am not sure what this is, and in some ways it is intriguing, yet down right scary.

This is only a small fraction, but I feel like maybe I can at least go to work and function a bit better had I just kept that all inside. This blog was intended to encourage women in their lives in Christ, marriage, and motherhood. But sometimes, it is an encouragement to me as well. If you got all the way to the end of this .. thank you for lending me your ear.

Until next time,
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