Yesterday was no ordinary Tuesday. Sure it was a hot summer day and yes the twins and I went to the wave pool. Both of which are some of our current "normal" conditions. However.... well let me share what I shared on Facebook and then I can explain a bit later.
Indeed I did start this summer just needing to be refreshed and renewed. I knew I needed to be changed from the inside out. To be completely open and honest I have been struggling since Christmas. I have gained weight since then and I couldn't understand why. I was given some clarity. The biggest reason is because I had tons of chaos in my mind, in my heart and I couldn't focus very long one thing. Sadly, for most of the summer that has been the case as well. UNTIL..... gosh I don't know yesterday. Well the process has been going and I know that God's hands have been in this the whole time but I realize now that He has given me so much and has been so patient.
|Photo credit Unknown|
I thought this summer's mission would solely be "weight' related. Wrong. In fact that is why I shared that I have gained weight. I have struggled with facing the fact that there are some things that I really truly need to let go of. One of them is a false sense of who God is and what He wants of me. He doesn't want a legalistic walk. He doesn't want me to be entrapped in any ministry that says I MUST follow their rules and their rules only. He doesn't want me to think that my life has no value. In fact, by feeling that way or even falsely humbling myself I not only devalue my life in my own eyes, or the eyes of those around me, but in a way I am telling God my life is not what He calls it it to be ` special, unique and amazing. Do you get that?! God thinks I am amazing and He created me to live an undefeated amazing life. Not because of anything I can do on my own, but because of what He is doing within me. Not my pastor, not a deacon, not even my own mother ` but in ME!
At the beginning of the summer I started to find little snippets of a few people I have come to love. People that God prepared ahead of time not to become useless and of no value but to become GREATER than I could ever imagine. I have come out of FOUR years of listening to how horrible I am, how i can't make good decisions, and how I have to become NOTHING yet ... being told at the same time that leadership was wonderful, pure, and something I should try to become. I was told that I shouldn't listen to anyone on the outside because they would not tell me of anything of value that I had to only listen to one voice, one leadership yet ... God made us all. HE made us all so unique and so divine.
Yesterday at the wave-pool I was humbled. Not in a way that I was nothing but instead in a way of God telling me and showing me just how GREAT HE wants me to be ~ t hat He created me to be. Yesterday I took a stand. Walked away. And began go allow God to HEAL areas in me that others wanted to die. The areas that made me ME. Sheila. HIS chosen one to be the author of One pretty little box. The one whom he is doing great things in every single moment of the day. And because I am GREAT.... HE is GREATER! Because I am whole ~ HE can shine through me!
|Photo Credit : Unknown|
I have BIG dreams and BIG goals! HUGE! Ones that will make you think "What the heck is she thinking" yet finally for once ... I can see them as real! Why? Because I let go of this thinking that I am NOTHING in God's eyes and seeing just how excited God is when we follow HIS lead! Can you imagine how excited God gets when we actually accomplish something He set forth for us? I know how excited I get when I finally do something that I have always wanted to do. Now I understand why. Because HE put it there!