Tuesday, December 16, 2014
An Early Christmas Gift!
Do you like receiving gifts?! I do. I don't always like opening gifts in front of people which is silly I know and kind of robs those who give the gift ~ but I do like to receive them. Yesterday I received a gift, and once again I was so glad that I was able to open it alone. Yes my family was around me ~ the hubster was in his chair, the kids were eating dinner, and here I was opening a gift and it went unnoticed. The tears of revelation went unnoticed, yet I wasn't alone. That I am thankful for because this particular gift ~ left me speechless, yet inside I was shouting!
As many of you know I wrote a book this summer. It was a dream of mine from when I was in Junior High School. In fact I had said over the years of our marriage to my husband how much I wanted to write a book. He often reminded me ... and yet it took this long to get going. We will celebrate our 20th Year Anniversary in May... so that dream has been "out there" for a long time.
Sadly, I felt like a failure. Not immediately after, but in the response. When you write, and self publish you must also self promote. I have no idea how to do that.... so I simply have used social media and my blog to share the news. I don't know why I expected a better turn out but my expectations way outweighed the result. Needless to say, I felt like a failure. It is so hard for me to admit that and to be this vulnerable with you about this part of my life, but I have to be real about this area of my life just like I am anything else.
I put my writing stuff away and decided now must not be the time. In other words, I gave up. I decided what I dreamed I wanted to do wasn't what I must not have been created to do ~ and as heartbroken as I was, I let that dream fizzle down a bit.
UNTIL this past weekend. Now, I didn't start writing yet, but a flame was reignited. Then I was searching something, and I ran across a post that gave me hope again ~ because it said EVERYTHING that I was feeling... yet couldn't understand or even realized until I read the exact words that had been in my heart and head. I truly believe God gives us JUST what we need... when we need it. This today was just what I needed and I am ever thankful! If you ever felt like you have failed at something, please take the time to read this. If you have never failed at at anything, take the time to read it so that you too may can encourage someone else.
If you have ever felt like you failed at something, and need a bit of hope to continue..... READ THIS!
It was definitely a gift that after I opened it, was so thankful I could experience it alone in my thoughts, and emotions. No questions, no expectations. Just enjoyment of realizing that I am not a failure because my first book was not a best seller! I am not a failure because someone doesn't see eye to eye with me. I am not a failure and I have no right to feel that way.