Friday, July 24, 2015

Family Matters Friday: A lecture for wives of today

One thing about being in the social media hub you see a lot of things. Some that you wish you didn't. It's kind of like what they say about a train wreck ~ you can't help but look as you go by. Sadly, there is something happening online among women that I just cannot look at anymore. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a woman too but I truly treasure my husband.

Before I begin, let me say this. My marriage hasn't always been what it is today and I understand that we are all at a different place in our relationships. With that said, I also will remind you as well as myself that how we spend our time, attention, focus will determine what is important to us and how we respect or not our spouse.

My husband is NOT someone that I will belittle or make fun of. Sure, we have moments that are funny to bring up (and I do those in private not publicly or on social media) but the kind of "make fun of" that I am talking about is humiliating him either in public or private.

I am so sick of seeing wives think it is funny to humiliate their husband online. They are usually the first to then want to blast their husbands when they get into an argument or their feelings got hurt for whatever reason. I have had to block myself from seeing posts from people I happen to like because I can't take their comments or the way they talk to their husbands online. I have been married for twenty years, so I have some history behind when I say that if they continue to do that they might not have a relationship later down the road.

If you want to treat your husband like they are less than you, that you are smarter than them, and then wonder why they leave you or cheat on you, maybe you will remember this warning. If your husband wanted a mother ... he wouldn't have gotten married to you.

I ask that you challenge yourself to lift your husband up and give him more credit than you ever thought you should. Treat him like he is a King, as most of us they are the big bread winners in our home. I would not be able to do what I do if my husband did not do what he does. Yes I work outside the home and contribute, and yes I do the care-taking of our home but I do it to support him and to encourage him. I want our home to be a safe haven for all ~ not a battle ground. I cherish him, value him and am very blessed to say he is my husband. In return, he takes care of me and the family, treats us with kindness and lots of care. He WANTS to be with us and if he could choose to work overtime or his family time I can almost guarantee every single time he will choose family time. Yes, he does work a lot of hours every so often but it is for our family ~ not because work is his safe haven.

If you have a lot of conflict in your relationship with your husband ~ start paying attention to how you speak to and about your husband both privately and publicly (including online). You might just see that if you change the way you speak to him, you may change your whole relationship!

Understand that your children are watching, listening and learning. If your child spoke to your husband in the way you do would they get in trouble? Would they be disrespectful? All that is happening is your setting the tone for not only your relationship with your spouse, but your children's relationship with them as well.

Now this goes both ways I know. But I can't honestly speak too much to the men ~ because my word may not encourage them in the same way. I promise... give it two weeks. Change the way you interact with your husband and watch how it impacts your marriage!


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