Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Being tenderhearted is not a common trait.
I can be in a room with five people and can "feel" what the other five people as well as myself can feel. Unless my own emotions and thoughts are dominate (and when I am in an environment that is not self involved ~ like teaching), I truly can feel what others feel without even thinking about it. I have to keep that in check and understand that it is a gift for a reason and not let it effect me in such a way that their feelings and emotions take over. If we are in a room together, and you are sad ... I will feel your sadness. If you are happy and joyful, I feel that joy and are happy with you.
Imagine my jaw drop when I hear that it is hard for some (many actually) to be joyful with others. In fact, from this conversation it seems for many people it is easier to be sad with a person than it is to rejoice with them. I am STILL trying to wrap my mind around that because it just isn't how my brain works.
Woah right!? I just can't fathom not wanting to feel joy with someone ~ but I am learning one important trait. We must stop having the expectations that others think just like we do. They do not process things the way we do. In fact, while there may be groups of us around, none of us ~ not one is just alike.
But really, my heart breaks! See over the last year a few months I have been really digging deep, allowing my true self (which I have buried so much since childhood) to arise and take the ownership it deserves. I have shared my journey and in some ways have pushed some away, and in other ways have inspired some to go out there and take a chance on their dreams. I have been rejected, but I have spent too much energy and time thinking that *I* was the problem ~ having no clue that they just couldn't support me or rejoice with me because they were jealous, prideful, or even ashamed that their own life hasn't taken a turn. Here I am thinking I have done something wrong yet ... now I realize that the whole reaction (or lack there of) had really nothing to do with me but them! Understanding this, and realizing this almost clears the veil that has been hanging over my head. The veil of doubt (because of lack of true honest support), the veil of feeling lonely (they just think I am doing so well I don't "need" them ~ yet I need them more than ever), and the veil of confusion (mixed reactions suck!).
It explains why if someone is hurting they get a ton of support, but if someone is celebrating they are off in the corner alone. It also explains why people gossip ~ they'd rather talk ABOUT someone than to them about the situation. It also explains why more people do not spread the good things happening in their lives.
Just as more people should be tenderhearted, those who ARE already tenderhearted, should be more open and understanding. If you are tenderhearted ~ STOP waiting on others to celebrate (or accept) you! Just enjoy the moment, EVEN if it feels like you are alone.. it's worth it!