Saturday, August 15, 2015
What an amazing week! I should have known when I shared about Confidence on Monday's Motivation post that God was ready to do some big confidence building things. It never fails, he does prepare us for what's to come ~ and that doesn't just apply to negative things!
This week I was in meetings, in-service, classroom prep, and eventually Open House & Meet the Teacher night at the preschool in which I work at. This coming year will be my 12th year as a preschool teacher (yes, in the same center). I have years where I felt really unsure of who I am in the classroom, as an employee, heck even as a woman. I have had years where I was bold in my position as a teacher. But there is something about this year for me that is different. I can already feel it.
Not long ago I wrote about the importance of a cocoon phase and how I could feel that I was needing that protection. Who knew that in a few weeks I would be sitting here writing telling you that my wings are being stretched. I am not quite flying and fluttering around but I know with confidence that it is coming!
If you are in a season of fear, anxiety, or even just at a standstill I want to encourage you to understand and know that you have the capabilities inside you to pull through. A few weeks ago I felt so desperately in a void. I couldn't quite put my finger on it ... I just knew I was struggling inside AND outside. There were a few nights I even would cry myself to sleep because I just felt so ..... desperate.
Desperation usually leads us to one of two places. Deep(er) depression, or it motivates us to become better. Thankfully... becoming better won out! I know how it feels. When I tell you those things, please know that I am not just using words ~ I desperately KNOW how darkness feels. Just as much as I know how feeling like your on top of the word feels, I can very easily imagine how being in the lowest place of life can feel too.
Since I made the conscious effort to share "Creating a Classroom They Never Want to Leave" as a freebie chapter by chapter here on the blog, I know that it's time to return to writing #mydirtylittlesecret. The time away from it was a time to regroup, do a little bit of healing and internal forgiveness. Now? I am ever more confident that I must pursue this like a dehydrated horse upon a lake.
Every situation has the capabilities to be a growing experience it just depends on the perspective in which it is viewed in. When your emotions are involved in your perspective, it influences your perspective in a HUGE way. The difference in me from a few weeks ago is that my perspective indeed has changed and thankfully improved.